Reviewed: August 1, 2010
Reviewed by: Mark Smith

Publisher
505 Games

Developer
A2M

Released: June 29, 2010
Genre: Action
Players: 1

5
5
5
6
5.4

Supported Features:

I did like a few things about the game starting with the deceptively innocent title screen, at least until the knife plunged into the picture. And I simply loved the narrator who comes off as this innocent inner voice/storybook reader that was a dead ringer for Trey Parker doing that same style narration we heard in Woodland Critter Christmas on South Park. The whole charming storybook element is a nice contrast to the mayhem that is about to ensue.

You play as Naughty Bear, a brown and slightly tattered (and stitched together) brown bear in a world of colorful fluffy teddies. We’re not sure the extent of your naughty deeds, but they were apparently bad enough to get you dropped from the invitation list to a big birthday party on Perfection Island. You decide to go anyone, at least to drop off a present, but the other bears all laugh and make fun of you. You rush back home, at first very sad, but at the urging of the seemingly innocent narrator, your sadness turns to rage. It’s time for some payback.

And that is pretty much the setup for several chapters, each with several missions that will take you around the island as you stalk, terrorize, and kill any cute and cuddly bear that foolishly crosses your path. How you kill them is entirely up to you. There is a large assortment of weapons ranging from a stick to a baseball bat to a knife or even an axe. You have traps like sticky pads and those snapping bear traps, and if the cops show up you can even disarm them and use their own guns against them.

But killing all the bears is only part of the game. True deviants will stalk the bears and sabotage the environment, barricade doors, hide in closets and jump out to scare unsuspecting bears, and if lucky, create enough fear that the bears kill themselves. I’m a bit ashamed to admit that I laughed every time a bear beat himself to death with a slab of meat or plunged a knife into his belly. You can also incorporate the environment into these attacks, often for special rewards and bonuses. Imagine killing a bear by slamming his face into a BBQ grill or pushing him into a roaring campfire.

There is a bit of trial and error. You quickly learn that some bears will call the cops so you want to destroy all the phones in the area. Other bears will try to escape so a bear trap just outside the driver’s side door of the car is a good way to slow down any escapes. You can monitor various activities by watching the PiP window. I was reminded of those classic horror movies where the last person starts finding all the dead bodies of their friends lying around. This actually happens in Naughty Bear, and you can watch the terror level rise as these bears start to run around frantically discovering their massacred friends.

Along the way you will want to create as much chaos as possible by smashing the environments. Just about everything in this game can break from a window to a sink to a video game cabinet. This level of destruction will play into your final score, which is how all levels in Naughty Bear are ranked locally and on the Xbox Live leaderboards, just in case you want to know who the naughtiest bear of them all is. There are also hidden presents scattered about the island. Collect these gifts and destroy them for bigger bonuses.

For as fun as all this might sound to the slightly psychotic gamer, Naughty Bear suffers greatly from “more of the same”. Each chapter takes place in the same location so you will get really tired of the same level design long before you unlock any new ones. And despite all the varied weapons and traps, you can pretty much see all the major death animations within the first one or two hours of gameplay, and really, that’s all this game is about when you get right down to it.

Adding to the problems is one of the worst camera control systems (or rather lack of one) I have ever seen in a video game. It is totally manual so you are tweaking the right stick far more than the left one which you use to move around with, especially when you are chasing down a fleeing bear. There are some horrible clipping issues that will have you executing a bear through a close door or even a wall. On the plus side, the bears look suitably fluffy and cute, at least when they aren’t shrieking in terror and dying horrible deaths, and the game is loaded with color and charm.

For as uber-violent and horrible as this game sounds, they managed to get a Teen rating from the ESRB for the sole reason that there is no blood. Apparently it doesn’t matter that anyone of any age can purchase this game and commit some of the most disturbing and depraved acts this side of Manhunt. As long as there is no red stuff you can burn and beat the literal stuffing out of cute characters while they scream in anguish. I can just see little boys everywhere plunging steak knives into their little sisters stuffed animal collection after playing this game.

I have to admit that I did enjoy certain elements of Naughty Bear, especially when you play it somewhat seriously. When you start sneaking around, hiding in leaves, trying to avoid detection, and work toward the various kill challenges it can be quite rewarding assuming you can come to grips with the clunky camera. I definitely got that Sam Fisher, Solid Snake vibe a few times, sneaking around and setting traps.

The graphics are merely average at best, and the sound is minimal with cute music and squealing bear noises and speech. I loved the narrator, both in his storybook delivery and his bombastic proclamations of TOTAL DEFLUFFICATION that rival similar announcements in Unreal Tournament. There is a token multiplayer component for up to four bears with various modes, none of which are particularly original or fun and certainly not worth dealing with the camera issues, assuming you can even find anyone to play with online.

Naugthy Bear would have been a great $15 Summer of Arcade game, but as a standalone retail title, I can’t recommend a purchase until this hits the $20 bargain bin and even then your standards, or at least your expectations had better be low. If your sick and twisted curiosity gets the best of you then go ahead and rent. You’ll get more than your fair share of laughs but you’ll feel guilty every time you smile…as you should.