How to Practice Confucian Filial Piety

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Last Updated: July 17, 2023

Confucian filial piety or Hsiao is a Confucian virtue, one of the primary virtues of a Chun-Tzu or perfect gentleman. It is loving one's family, friends, neighbors, and mankind in general. It must be stated Hsiao does cross over with Chung or loyalty to the state, but there is a slight difference and this must be observed.

Steps

When reading one must remember the context, Confucius wrote in the 6th century BC, when China faced major internal strife from various warring factions, this time is known as the six warring kingdoms period. Confucius wished to return to the golden age under the Chou dynasty when China was moral and united, tranquil and peaceful.
The five bonds are the five types of love/respect in Confucianism, similar to the four types of love in Abrahamic religions. Consistency and uprightness are extremely important in Confucianism, if you can't follow all of them, find another ideology.
Confucius says that as a gentleman or Lady, one must show respect/love even if this is not reciprocated though he does state that you should not go near these people once you have discovered their true nature. Note: You do not treat these people any differently, rather you do not associate with them, though there are some exceptions.
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Learn about the different bonds.
- The first bond is parent to child. The child must show respect and obedience to their parents, especially the father who is the head. In return the parent must show undying love, must protect the child, encourage the child and help development. The child however should only love and respect a parent that fulfills these duties and a father should only care for a child that is obedient.
- The second bond is Husband to wife. Like the parent to child, a husband must love/respect his wife, and trust her, allowing her to dominate in areas of the kitchen, cleaning, and other household tasks. The husband must also protect the wife and ensure she receives an acceptable standard of living. The wife must be obedient, allowing the husband to be the breadwinner, and not to enter into politics or monetary affairs. She must also keep the house tidy and the children fed.
- The third bond is elder sibling to younger sibling. A love stronger than friendship should be between siblings, the elder brother should teach the younger, acting as a tutor who has already been there. The elder brother acts like a nanny in some ways ensuring the naive younger brother is not led astray or makes harmful mistakes. In return, the younger brother loves/respects the elder and listens to his wise words. The younger should also be there to help the elder if ever he is in times of need, remember a mouse can help a lion-Aesop.
- The fourth bond is friend-to-friend. Unlike all the other relationships this one is on equal terms and it is necessary to follow Confucius' golden rule, do for others as you would like to be done for you. Confucius means if your friend asks for help you help him, if you ask a friend to do something for you, but you wouldn't do it for him then you're a user. If you'll do something for him, but he won't for you then he is using you, this is a way in which Confucians determine the difference between friends and enemies.
- The fifth bond which crosses over to Chung is ruler to ruled. The ruler like a father with his children, must be benevolent, caring, and concerned for the people's welfare. As a ruler, he must guard against invaders, and ensure people are fed, educated, healthy, free, and most importantly virtuous/Happy. The ruled must therefore be law-abiding, loyal, fight in his armies, work his farms, build his roads and schools, and pay taxes. The Hsiao bit is that rulers should be benevolent to the ruled and the ruled should respect their master. However, when it comes to Chung, the ruled have a right to overthrow leaders who are bad, incompetent, and have lost the mandate of heaven.
For ruler and ruled you must embrace the mandate of heaven. Accept that so long as a ruler is competent and virtuous he has a mandate from heaven to rule and therefore it goes against the highest order to overthrow a virtuous ruler. If he is bad though, he has lost the mandate and can be overthrown.

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Tips

Be a humble servant and a just master.

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Always love and be respectful.

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Read proverbs that have things to do with filial piety from the Analects.

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