I had a foursome on holiday – now I’m so confused about my sexuality
DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife’s fantasy of having a foursome has unlocked hidden desires in me, prompting me to question my sexuality.
My wife is 40 and I’m 43. We’ve been married for 15 years.
We decided to take a romantic trip to Paris for our recent wedding anniversary.
While we were away, my wife kept commenting on how sexy the French accent is and she kept flirting with other couples.
One night I became so jealous that we had a big row about it back at the hotel.
She called me every name under the sun and said that I was vanilla in bed.
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That spurred me on to drop the argument and give her the best sex of her life.
During the sex she said she wanted playmates so afterwards I asked her what she meant.
Then she reluctantly shared her secret fantasies.
She confessed that she often pleasures herself at the thought of inviting another couple to join us in bed.
We talked it through and I agreed to give it a go if the opportunity came around.
But it soon became clear she was hell-bent on the idea, leaving nothing to chance.
She even signed us up to a dating app connecting us to other couples advertising that we were interested in a foursome in the area we were staying in.
We chose a couple together and arranged to meet them in our hotel bar.
They were a very attractive and flirtatious French couple and it wasn’t long before we took them back to our room.
I was nervous at first but the other man made me feel so relaxed that it wasn’t long before we were at it while our wives were having fun.
I never thought a man could make me feel that way.
I’m desperate to try it again but I don’t want my wife to think I’m gay.
Does this mean I am gay?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: A single sexual encounter doesn’t mean you are gay but I am attaching my support pack Gay Support to help you to think this through.
Fantasy can spice up sex for a couple but involving others can bring risks and can lead to confused feelings such as yours.
My support pack Fantasies explains more.
It is important that you talk to your wife and make sure she is comfortable before you engage in another foursome.
