'My children used to be terrified of dogs – this is how they learnt to love them'

Have you heard of cynophobia? It means ‘fear of dogs’ and, with an increase of 10 per cent in the British dog population during lockdown, more pups sadly means more people experiencing dog-related phobias, among children in particular. 

But where does this fear come from? Is it something you're born with, something you learn from other members of your family or is it the result of a bad experience?  Caroline Wilkinson, a KAD (Kids Around Dogs) trainer and canine behaviourist, says fears can be related to real threats – such as an experience a child may have had when a dog chased them, or from ‘imagined dangers’. 

“The child may have seen a dog in a book or film and imagined them in a scary manner, or the picture could stem from a nightmare. Unfortunately negative experiences impact us more strongly than positive ones, so it can only take one tricky encounter to cement a fear,” she notes.

Parental fears can also, subconsciously or consciously, be passed to the child, especially if their automatic response is to shield their child. “I often see parents pulling their children away from dogs. While this can be a good idea if your child is overzealous, it could instil a fear response around future dogs they encounter,” says Wilkinson. 

So what can be done to help combat this fear? Lauren Rosenberg, founder of Fear Busters consultancy and phobia expert, says one of the least helpful things a parent or dog owner can do is try and reassure a child who by saying “don’t be silly, he won’t harm you.” 

This, Rosenberg says, can often make the child feel worse or more self-conscious. “Try to understand that it’s not the child’s fault they feel that way. They might know it’s not a rational fear but they still feel it all the same,” she says. 

Dogs can be unpredictable, Rosenberg points out, so the child’s fear may be justified in some way.  “We should try and at first acknowledge and accept that fear,” she says. “Talk to your child and try and reassure them that they are safe.” Teaching children to ask before approaching a dog and to do so in a calm manner is the best way to help those kids who are keen to say hello, Wilkinson advises.

Also, showing children appropriate ways to interact with dogs will help reduce the chance of dangerous interactions, such as allowing the dog to move towards them instead of reaching out a hand.

And it's not just about children being fearful of dogs, says Wilkinson, it’s dogs being fearful of children. “Canine body language is often misinterpreted – wagging tails for example don’t always mean the dog is happy,” she points out. 

“Helping our children to view and read body language from pictures of dogs initially and then working with calm, child-friendly dogs can help instil confidence.”

Lockdown has, says Wilkinson, made things worse. “For children, who were potentially a little fearful before, they are now flooded with the sight of dogs everywhere,” says Wilkinson. “Those dogs may have had a lack of exposure to children and so might display more fearful behaviours – such as barking or jumping around.”

A lack of training, due to lockdown restrictions, may also be a factor. “This means there’s a lot of impulsive adolescent dogs around who might not respond to their guardian’s request to return to them and leave a child’s space,” Wilkinson explains.

Where the child has severe fears – to the extent of not being able to view images of dogs for example – getting professional help is recommended. 

This is what Michelle Amdor ended up doing with her 10 year old son, Felix. He developed a fear of dogs after being jumped upon by a puppy when he was a toddler. “It got so bad that, one time when Felix was out cycling, he ended up coming off the pavement and going into the middle of a main road to avoid a dog,” she says. 

After taking Felix to see Rosenberg, who taught him some tapping techniques which helped him overcome his phobia, Amdor decided to get a puppy at the start of the second lockdown. “The difference in Felix after seeing Lauren was quite remarkable. I was pretty cynical at first but when, after several sessions for anxiety, I saw him cuddling Lauren’s dog, I knew we had to get one too.” Felix and their five month old Maltipoo, Gizmo, are now the best of friends.

It was a similar story for Hester Grainger, co-founder of Perfectly Autistic consultancy and mum to India, 11 and Hudson, 9. Before they got Rosco and Bear, two cocker spaniels, her children had never been around dogs and would panic when they saw one. “Being autistic, they are also very anxious which I think played a huge part of it,” she says.

“My daughter would shake and clamber up on me. She's also been known to stand on benches to make sure she is as high up as possible. My son would just hide behind us. We would sometimes have to leave a park if there were dogs there, or cross the street if we saw a dog heading our way,” she says. 

Grainger decided the only way to tackle things was to get a dog and get the children involved. “All though India was petrified of dogs, she loved the idea of owning one,” she says. 

It’s no exaggeration to say the dogs have changed their lives for the better, says Grainger. “Whenever the children feel anxious, the dogs come and sit with them and they can tell them how they are feeling. Hudson says they are like his brothers.”