How to Become More Optimistic: Practice The Seven Principles of Optimism
Poet Khalil Gibran once wrote that “your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens."
The attitude to which he refers to above is what we know as optimism.
Optimism is both, a philosophy and an attitude. It’s a philosophy in how we interpret the events that happen in our everyday life. It’s an attitude in how we carry ourselves forward. It’s a way of life—a perspective or a lens through which to evaluate desirable and undesirable events as they unfold in our day-to-day.
My personal life philosophy is anchored in an ocean of optimism. It fills me with the curiosity and wonder to keep exploring, learning, and growing. It offers me a boundless oasis of hope and possibility. It helps me rise back up whenever I fall. And it allows me to recognize the beauty that is all around me, the meaning behind my struggles, and the infinite blessings in my life.
Perhaps not everyone is an optimist, but everyone can learn how to become one. At least that’s what positive psychologist Martin Seligman explains in his book, Learned Optimism:
“A pessimistic attitude may seem so deeply rooted as to be permanent. I have found, however, that pessimism is escapable. Pessimists can in fact learn to be optimists and not through mindless devices like whistling a happy tune or mouthing platitudes, but by learning a new set of cognitive skills.”
The question that we should be asking, however, is not “how can I become more optimistic,” but “what daily principles can I live by so that I can become more optimistic by nature?” This reflects what Epictetus, the Stoic philosopher once wrote, “don't explain your philosophy; embody it.” And the only way to embody a philosophy is to practice it day in, day out.
So, what are these principles of optimism?
Given that optimism is a term that originates from the Latin word Optimus, which means "the best," perhaps it’s only fitting to first cast our gaze upon the region from where this word was first unearthed.
In the book, The Seven Hills of Rome: A Geological Tour of the Eternal City, the authors argue that over the years, historians, political analysts, and sociologists have discussed the question of “what made Rome so much more influential than its neighboring cities” without considering one key and underlying factor that led to its initial rise: Rome’s geology.
They demonstrate how Rome’s innate core qualities—its proximity to a major river and close access to the sea, its hills for scoping and plateaus for protection, and the clean drinking water from springs in the Apennine mountains—gifted the city many geographic advantages over surrounding areas. Rome, itself, played a crucial role in its own rise to power.
In other words, Rome gave rise to Rome.
And similarly, only you can give rise to yourself.
Inspired by the seven hills of Rome and this very idea that we can leverage our own qualities and characteristics to create something beautiful from within us, I’ve laid out below the seven principles of the philosophy of optimism. Adopt them, practice them, and live by them, and you too shall rise to new heights while bearing a protective cloak of optimism around you.
1. Always believe it is possible.
Principle #1: An optimist understands the fundamental rule that seeing is not believing, rather, believing is seeing. And so she cultivates a mindset around this mantra: “My beliefs have the power to change what I see and perceive.”
In her book, Mindset, psychologist Carol Dweck explains that people operate from one of two mindsets, a fixed or growth mindset.
In a “fixed mindset,” we believe we have no agency over our growth, intelligence, and creative ability. And due to this belief system, we strive for the illusion of success by staying comfortable and avoiding failure at all costs.
In a “growth mindset,” however, we thrive on challenges and see failure as a springboard for growth. “The growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts,” explains Dweck, and people with a growth mindset have “a zest for teaching and learning, an openness to giving and receiving feedback, and an ability to confront and surmount obstacles.”
How does this relate to optimism? Well, Dweck discovered that the mindset you adopt for yourself, which is based on a belief system that you developed with time, goes on to define how you see yourself and the world around you. Here’s what she writes in her book:
“For twenty years, my research has shown that the view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life. It can determine whether you become the person you want to be and whether you accomplish the things you value.”
In other words, seeing is not believing, but believing is seeing.
If you believe that a solution does exist to your problem, you will be able to see the possibilities, and consequently, you’ll be much more inclined to act. And isn’t that what optimism is all about? Choosing to believe that the future can still be beautiful, seeing the possibility of that future, and then willfully working today to manifest that future.
As Alan Watts once wrote, “faith is, above all, openness; an act of trust in the unknown.” Believing in what is possible is what leads us to see all the possibilities that could be. An optimist believes and so she sees.
2. Do the work.
Principle #2: An optimist does not engage in wishful thinking; an optimist engages in willful and resilient work.
The philosophy of an optimist is not rooted in wishful thinking. The philosophy of an optimist is rooted in the deed of labor.
Yes, you can choose to believe in a better future, and yes, you can see all the possible ways in which it manifests, but the truth is, the wheels will not turn if you don’t get up and push them. You can choose to believe that one day you’ll flourish as a writer, and you can see yourself as an acclaimed author, but the truth is, that book will not write itself—you have to sit on that chair and write.
What stops you from doing the work is resistance. It’s something we all experience, especially when it comes to taking action toward the outcome that we genuinely crave. Sometimes, it appears as fear, self-doubt, or procrastination. Other times, it exhibits itself as delusional wishful thinking.
Ultimately, imagination only takes you so far. Yes, it excites you and crescendos into a mountain of motivation, but the only way to sustain it and channel it into a fertile ground is by sitting down and doing the work.
3. Focus on yourself.
Principle #3: An optimist is not focused on what he can't control; an optimist is focused only on what he can—himself.
What a year like 2020 has taught us is that there are a plethora of things that we have no control over. Here are a few examples:
You have no control over people’s opinions of you.
You have no control over natural events and disasters.
You have no control over the global economic trajectory.
You have no control over what other people decide to do.
However, what you do have control over is how you respond to all of the above. How you respond to someone playing a status game with you. How you deal with a global pandemic. How you prepare for a financial collapse. How you distance yourself from people who don’t share the same values as you.
In other words, what you have control over is you—your opinions, aspirations, habits, and the actions you take. Your mind and the way you think. And what you can control, alter, and change is the entirety of who you are. Attempting to control or change anything outside that realm only results in heightened anxiety, torment, and frustration—you will stir up a storm and drown yourself in it.
Optimism is built around the foundational belief that anytime we are faced with a situation that causes suffering, we have two options at our disposal. We can either change the situation at hand or we can change our attitude toward it by first changing the way we’re interpreting it. And the only way to do either one is by training yourself to only focus on what you can control.
As Roman and Stoic philosopher Epictetus wrote in A Manual For Living:
“Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: Some things are within our control, and some things are not. The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control… Freedom is the only worthy goal in life. It is won by disregarding things that lie beyond our control.”
That last line is critical: Master yourself and you will master your life.
4. Love more than you fear.
Principle #4: An optimist lives and works from a place of love, not fear.
There’s a universal truth that I implore you to further explore: You can either operate and live your life from a fear-based belief system or one that is rooted in love. Live from a place of fear and you will experience the limitations of resentment, arrogance, insecurity, and greed. Live from a place of love and you will discover an abundance of courage, confidence, fortitude, and generosity.
Inaction, stagnation, and behaving as though the world owes you something, are all rooted in fear. Action, growth, self-compassion, and kindness are all rooted in love. Living fast and rushing through the process is a lifestyle that sprouts from a place of fear. Living slow and honoring the process, from a place of love.
To love more than you fear is to make more room for poetic mistakes in your life. It’s to take yourself less seriously and laugh a little more. It’s to do things for the intrinsic joy of doing them, not for the sake of a likely reward. It’s to face failure and think: “So what? I’ve failed and now I’m that much closer to success than ever before.”
One of my favorite quotes is by Nelson Mandela:
“What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead.”
To make a difference in the life of others, we must first learn how to fearlessly love. We must remind ourselves that we are Beings trying to make sense of this human experience. And all that matters at the end of that journey is not what you’ve achieved. It’s how deeply you loved yourself, how deeply you loved the people who walked this path with you, and how freely you gave to them.
All that matters at the end of that journey is how deeply you touched the souls of those around you with your actions and creations. But of course, you cannot touch someone with fear, but only with the light of fearless love.
5. Make it a habit to be solution-oriented.
Principle #5: An optimist is solution-oriented; she believes that there’s always a solution, and so she only seeks solutions to problems, not more problems to existing ones.
In a speech entitled “5 Rules to Follow to Find Your Spark,” Simon Sinek narrated a personal story that led him to a major realization in life:
“There are two ways to see the world. Some people see the thing that they want, and some people see the thing that prevents them from getting the thing that they want."
The people who see the things that they want are the ones who go after them. When they encounter obstacles, they keep going until they find a way around them, because deep down, they know what they want.
On the other hand, the people who see the thing that prevents them from getting the thing that they want, only see obstacles. Hence, they don’t take action.
The people in the first group are optimists.
The people in the second are not.
If you wish to be a member of the former, you’ve got to become someone who is solution-oriented—which means that whenever a problem arises, you don’t panic, or complain, or allow your thoughts to board the train of wild imagination that goes by the name “here’s the worst that will happen.” No. Instead, you keep yourself calm and composed and immediately begin asking questions that will lead you to the right solutions.
How do you do that?
You make it a habit to seek solutions.
And how do you do that?
You train yourself to become a more resourceful person by constantly asking the following question: “What can I do right now to solve this?”
6. Always be grateful and accepting.
Principle #6: An optimist is grateful and accepting, allowing herself to fully feel whatever she is feeling, for that’s exactly how she transcends above all her suffering.
Optimism is not about being positive. Positivity is saying that things are good even when they're not. That’s just delusional. Positivity is saying “forget about your problems, look at the bright side, and move on.” That’s suppression, not liberation.
Optimism is simply about finding positive meaning in negative events—it’s a form of resilience. And the way to do that is to draw on positive emotions in times of stress in order to better cope with the negative emotions at hand.
In their study on optimism and resilience, psychologists Michele Tugade and Barbara Fredrickson explain that “resilient people use positive emotions to rebound from, and find positive meaning in, stressful encounters.” That’s because they work on drawing on a broader range of emotions to cultivate a spirit of optimism:
“We might ask, ‘How can I use the energy created by this stress and anxiety to help me better cope with the challenges I am facing?’ or ‘What can I learn from this stress, and how does it help me change, grow or find new solutions?’”
Truth is, negative emotions serve a purpose; they’re trying to tell us something’s wrong. Listening to them and further exploring why we feel the way we do is how we get to the root of the problem.
So the idea here is to yield to the flow of life — to work through it and not against it. By being grateful for all that happens, you accept it. And by accepting it, you transcend above it. As Eckhart Tolle writes in his book, The Power of Now:
“Accept - then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.”
7. See the beauty.
Principle #7: An optimist constantly seeks and reminds herself of the imperfect art, beauty, and poetry, that is all around her.
This seventh and final principle matches the grandness of the Quirinal Hill, the highest of the Seven Hills of Rome. It is the honest embodiment of all previous principles, that leads you to this: The gift of seeing the beauty in all that there is.
Think about it:
If you choose to believe that your aspirations are possible, then you will see the beauty in your imagination. If you choose to do the daily work that will lead you there, you will see the beauty in your effort and progress.
If you choose to only focus on what you can control—yourself—you will see the beauty that can only be found inside yourself. And if you choose to love deeply and fully, you will see the beauty in becoming fearless.
If you choose to be solution-oriented, you will see the beauty and joy in solving problems. And if you choose to always be grateful and accepting, you will see the beauty of life’s many blessings and the meaning behind your struggles.
That final principle, in and of itself, encapsulates what it means to live a life that is anchored in the philosophy of optimism: Much like life itself, we are imperfect and impermanent, and that’s what makes us both so beautiful.
Practice The Seven Principles of Optimism And You Will Become More Optimistic by Nature
Optimism is about acknowledging the troubles of today, while also giving yourself permission to hope, even if you feel extremely anxious, restless, unhappy, or fearful. It’s not about ignoring your negative feelings about the crisis at hand, but about finding a way to keep them from overwhelming you.
The way I see it, optimism is simply choosing to believe that the future can still be beautiful, even if it doesn’t seem plausible right now, and then willfully working today to manifest that future.
How do you become an optimist?
You practice the seven principles of optimism:
I will always believe it to be possible.
I will do the work for it to become possible.
I will only focus on what I can control—myself.
I will love deeply, fully, and fearlessly.
I will do my best to be solution-oriented.
I will always be grateful and accepting.
I will live in admiration of the beauty that is all around me.