Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood.

I accidently found myself in an internet chatroom the other day.

No, not that sort. The other sort.

The sort where individuals far smarter than I, exchange highbrow views and challenge each other, on their intellectual prowess, by commentating on literary works I’ve usually never heard of, let alone read.

But hold a minute.

Not this time.

Not only had I read the book that was the subject of this particular debate. I’ve actually read it twice.

The book was the great Stephen Covey’s “7 Habits” which I first encountered whilst on a leadership course approximately 20 years ago.

Back then, although it was intriguing and I would go as far as to say influenced me to some degree, I didn’t really have the wherewithal or remit to put much of it to practice.

Two decades later, at another leadership course by Vistage UK and Mike Ader, I was reintroduced to the “7 Habits” - and it had a renewed resonance and meaning that somewhat surprised me.

With a few more grey hairs and, in the years elapsed, having bumped my head and scraped my knees more times than I’d care to remember, not to mention having a much bigger forehead, it seemed much easier to draw parallels between Covey’s works and my nine to five.

There’s a paradigm shift if ever I saw one. (Sorry, only those who have read it will get the gag.) I’d recommend a revisit to anyone if, who like me had not thumbed the pages for some considerable time.

... Meanwhile back in the chatroom:

These guys, my new best friends, were clearly Stephen Covey aficionados.

But there was one question put to the forum that had me diving straight in.

And that was: “Which of Covey’s seven habits has had the most profound effect on you – and why?”

Now let’s be straight, it’s not as if there’s a bad one to call out.

To suggest that there’s a worst is a bit like saying who’s the worst member of Led Zeppelin. I’m not here to cause trouble Your Honour!

But, of the seven habits, I’d have to go for habit number five which I’m sure you already know is, “Seek first to understand, and then to be understood”.

 But “why?”, I hear you say and what does that mean?

Well, “Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood.” is about actively listening to others and trying to understand their perspectives, preferences, and situations.

Only when this has been done thoroughly and properly should one attempt to formulate and communicate an appropriate solution or response.

This habit emphasises the importance of empathy and the ability to communicate effectively. Something I can relate back to the day job.

As a business that delivers marketing performance via highly targeted data driven customer communications, our ability to serve relevant content to consumers via the preferred medium to elicit a desired outcome is arguably our party piece. But before we can pass judgment and define “relevant”, we must first seek to really understand the individual, their predispositions to channel and their propensity to adopt. The most effective way to achieve this at scale is to “look deep” and be led by customer data.

Only once we have done this can we realistically expect our segmentations to hold water, can we expect our personas to ring true, and can we expect, as marketers, to be truly understood.

In the same way that a brand's most impactful proposition to a consumer should ideally be highly tailored and relevant, the best solutions delivered by marketing performance partners, such as Go Inspire, are carefully considered, mutually planned, and built upon a strong foundation of knowledge and understanding of the customer.

Which of the 7 habits has had the most profound impact on how you work? Let me know in the comments!