The Power of Letting GO

“This year, let go of the people who aren’t ready to love you. This is the hardest thing you’ll have to do, and it will also be the most important: stop giving your love to those who aren’t ready to love you.” – Brianna Wiest

There comes a time in your life where you’ll have to let something, or someone, go.

It’s almost never easy, and in most cases, we’ll avoid the inevitable because it’s simply easier to go with what we know than it is to let it go.

But moving on is actually a form of self-love. It shows compassion for ourselves, our energy, and our time.

We are all at different stages in our lives, which means we’ll often encounter people who aren’t quite where we are yet, who aren’t ready to commit to us in the way we can commit to them.

Why do we struggle to ‘let go’?

Beyond the fact that many of us probably have a sense of irritation attached to people telling us to “let it go”, there’s also the simple truth that I know from personal experience – we don’t know what it means, let alone how to do it.

It’s not a literal physical action that can be taken, but a conscious, challenging one that needs alignment between your head and your heart.

Letting go is a release of pain, worry, or doubt about an action, a person or an outcome.

The strange thing about letting go is that sometimes, even when we are hurting and we’re consciously aware of it, we’ll avoid letting go because it requires an acknowledgement and an acceptance of everything we’re holding in.

I know this because I’ve had to do it.

I acknowledged that holding onto the past was holding me back

Even though at the time I felt like I had no capacity to move on, I could. It’s just that it’s easier to stick with what we know, even when we know we shouldn’t.

Change is inevitable, and it can come quickly and unexpectedly, and in the moment, I felt as though I was in a different place to everyone around me.

The time when letting go became essential is when I realised I wasn’t meeting anyone in the same place of authenticity and unconditional love – I was simply acting on attachment to familiarity – and expecting that I would be able to love someone into action.

I had to remember that : I am good enough, and I am worthy of love.

An avoidance of letting go had diminished my ability to believe I was good enough, or that I was deserving, which is why it was an act of self-care to unburden myself.

I stopped seeking external validation

Part of being a human being is wanting to be wanted, wanting to be loved and seeking approval.

I was worried that if I let go of things, I’d no longer be wanted and might become stuck in a cycle of being lonely or lacking connection.

The truth is these are self-limiting beliefs.

“I can’t do this by myself.” Or “I could never manage this.”

My negative self-talk was holding me back from taking the steps I knew I needed, based on the assumption that I could control change.

It begins with acceptance

Never letting go means living in the past and assuming that all change is bad or threatening – it also meant I wasn’t living in the present moment.

I had to acknowledge some simple facts:

-      I can’t control people’s behaviours and actions, which means that change is inevitable if I wanted to respect my own, and other people’s, boundaries.

-      When I give time and energy to others, I’m defining my own existence. Time and energy are two vital elements in my life that I need to protect.

I had to accept that my time and energy are precious and that I can choose not to spend it with those who aren’t compatible with me, or situations that don’t suit me.

The second that I accepted all of this, I made space for something beautiful – growth from new beginnings.

I opened a door of opportunity

Once I made the internal choice to let go, I began to break the cycle that shackled me to hurt and pain, and took control of my life, time and energy.

I didn’t have to cast everything off without regard, as I knew I needed to process how I was expressing my emotions in order to let them go, which was extremely cathartic.

Once you process and acknowledge how you felt and why you felt that way in the moment (as a form of self-reflection), you can move on.

Closure is rarely offered in the way that we want it when we wonder why someone has hurt us in the way that they have.

It can be difficult to accept that often, when someone hurts us, there won’t be an answer about why, nor an apology.

Accepting this meant I didn’t ruminate in the past and could finally move on into the future – we aren’t owed the truth from others, we can choose to be weighed down by what we can’t control, or to move on from it and grow.

And that’s exactly what I did.

Give yourself the unconditional love you deserve by letting go of that which doesn’t nurture your energy and time and I promise you won’t regret it.

Remember that you aren’t responsible for the outcomes of others, and that choosing to let go is one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself.

If you’re looking to begin working through your self-limiting beliefs to work towards the goals you’ve always dreamed you could achieve, schedule an obligation-free call with me today.