Life is short, break the rules...

I’m not promoting the idea to you or anyone to break the law in the city / country that you live in or don’t go ending your marriage or quitting your job just like that! I’m not promoting doing anything illegal or harmful either.

From a very early age, we’re taught to follow the rules. Don’t talk to strangers. Color inside the lines. Wait your turn. Say please and thank you. Raise your hand to speak. Don’t talk with your mouth full & this list goes on and on.

These early age teachings to follow the rules don’t stop once we get older. In fact, most of the time, we all operate within a set of established norms, or unwritten rules. We talk a certain way, dress a certain way and always try to follow instructions. We don’t dare rock the boat. We pay attention to what everyone else is doing, and try to keep our own behavior in line. Whether it’s at work, school or home, most of us “whether we want to admit it or not” are all rule followers.

But who’s making those rules? And, are following all of these social norms actually helping us? I’ve learned that following someone else’s way of doing things hasn’t always been the best path forward. Sometimes, following the rules holds us back from realizing our dreams and taking chances. Yes, it’s a little scary to be a rebel, but sometimes it’s necessary if we want to advance in our lives.

If you want to break some rules, you have to be willing to stand out for, in most people’s eyes, all the wrong reasons. It can be a constant battle of being judged, ridiculed, condemned and even emotionally blackmailed for being true to you and not to ‘them’.

This applies to all rule breaking, not just our personal examples. The person who leaves their high flying job to become a monk, the one who sells their mansion to move into an ecofriendly, self-sustaining home in the woods, the person who drew an end to their 20 year marriage or the person who married someone 30 years younger. The person who quit their stable 9-5 to riskily set up their own business. The one who married outside of their religion, the one who changed or left a religion, the one who chose not to have children, the one who didn’t go to University, the one who went vegan… the list goes on and the masses look on in dismay.

The exception amongst the rules is always under the spotlight. A hot, uncomfortable spotlight. So, if you’re going to break the rules, you must be willing to get uncomfortable. Toeing the line isn’t that bad, but it’s not that good either.

‘It’s not that bad’ to stay in this job because it pays well. ‘It’s not that bad’ to hang out with people I don’t really connect with because it’s only a few hours. ‘It’s not that bad’ to say yes to please other people because it keeps the peace. The comfort trap of ‘it’s not that bad’ is what stops you from creating change because, toeing the line doesn’t necessarily hurt that much, it doesn’t necessarily give you a bad life. But, it does stop you from having an amazing one. If you want that amazing life, you can’t let short term comfort rob you of long term fulfilment.

Saying no to that social event could have given you time to do things that nurture your soul. Saying no to that mortgage could have given you the money to travel the world and have transformative life experiences or, start a business. Saying no to that mediocre relationship could have saved you pain and misery and given you deep peace. Wonderful opportunities are on the other side of the broken rule only if you have the courage to go there.

Breaking the rules just for the sake of it makes no sense. Continually challenging everything is not courage, but a lack of focus. The fact that we can transgress something doesn’t mean we have to do it. Break the rules that limit more than they enable. Sometimes following the established rules is boring. That’s why people break them — to free themselves, not to send a message.

That’s what happened to William Webb Ellis back in 1823. He was tired of playing football (soccer for Americans), so the player took the ball in his arms and ran with it, thus starting a new sport: Rugby , named after his school – Rugby School of UK.

Learn the rules. Learn to play by the rules. And then learn to break them like a master.

Pablo Picasso wasn’t just a talented artist; he was one of the most prolific that ever existed. Most people associate the Spanish painter with cubism — an art movement he created. However, Picasso mastered traditional drawing and painting before he explored modern styles. Master it before you break it — that’s what you can learn from genius minds.

The low-cost airlines did this when they challenged the ways in which the major airlines did business. The new players used electronic tickets, bypassed travel agents, did away with allocated seating and flew to new smaller airports and so on.

Normally the person or people you admire most in this world broke the rules in some meaningful way. They broke rules that were the wrong rules, brought in the right rules and made the world a better place. This applies to everyone from Martin Luther King Jr. to Gandhi to Nelson Mandela.

“While you're sitting there wondering why you've kept all the rules and you still haven't achieved everything you've been promised, someone else has been breaking all the rules and seeing all the success that comes from doing so.” “Nobody on Earth can tell you how you should live your life. Nobody with any real authority anyway.”

The grandiose stories of massive rule breakers can mislead us or scare us off. Small acts of rule breaking can have just as big an impact on your personal wellbeing and fulfilment, like speaking up when the rule is to keep quiet or, saying no when the rule is to say yes. Step by step you build your sovereignty, step by step you build your confidence and then you can break the bigger rules, if you want to.

“As I continue on my rule breaking journey, I hope you’ll also take the time to consider the cost of breaking some rules versus the cost of breaking yourself”.  Also when the end comes to greet you, you will regret not living your life to the fullest. Therefore, always try to break the rules and create some memories that you can cherish for the rest of your life…