To Exclaim (!) or Not To Exclaim (.)

I write an email response, pause, hit the backspace two taps, delete the exclamation mark, and type a period. 

It’s a common practice for me. I was one of those ones who too often overused an exclamation mark in my emails and texts, and admittedly I still do sometimes. But I’m working on it!. 

See what I did there?

First: An argument in favor of the exclamation mark. I think we can agree that it’s an effective way to emote when emotion is needed – and, yes, sometimes emotion is needed.

For me, there’s an innate need to provide flavor, whether that be excitement or emphasis, behind written words in a message. I have an innate need to not come off like an uncaring robot and want my written words to strike similarly to how I would sound when speaking the message. So yes, I am in favor of exclamation marks – even in professional messages. But here’s the rub; it has to really need that mark. And only one, maybe two, in an entire email, and never together. (For anyone putting "!!" at the end of a sentence in a professional email or IM, please just stop.)

I’m a generally energetic and passionate person, so my nature is to overuse it if I’m trying to match my sound in person. Anytime I reread my messages with an abundance of exclamation marks, I cringe. It’s quite obnoxious. So, tap tap, delete, period. I do a lot of editing. I've come to allow myself to write freely at first, and then go back and edit. It allows me to not get hung up in details as I'm trying to make my point (pun intended).

However, I think the reverse can also be problematic. I've read far too many messages that are so stiff and formal, where an exclamation point would cower in fear of the writer, that it's easy for me to read it in such cold tone that it borders on unfriendly and harsh. Perhaps if there was some dry humor in there or even a few literal positive words (appreciate, support, kindly), it would help. But yeesh. Sometimes, a formal note with no effort to have personality or tone at all is just straight off-putting to me.

I would love to know where you fall on the spectrum of ! <-------> .

Do you see a need for punctuation beyond the period in professional correspondence? Do you lose respect for someone when you see an exclamation in their message and maybe take them less seriously? Or do you appreciate the bits of personality and clues to the writer's communication style?