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Ever Since
An intense, beautiful debut about the power of finding your voice and sharing your story after trauma. Perfect for fans of Nina LaCour and Kathleen Glasgow.
Seventeen-year-old Virginia makes bad choices. In fact, she’s That Kind of Girl, according to the whispers. But as long as she has her tight group of best friends by her side, she’s able to ignore the gossipers. Until she finds herself spending time with Rumi, Poppy’s boyfriend. Breaking with tradition, she doesn’t hook up with Rumi. Worse, she falls in love with him.
While Virginia and Rumi’s relationship grows in secret, she discovers that his little sister, Lyra, is being groomed for abuse. The soon-to-be-abuser is a respected member of the community, and only Virginia knows who he is and what he does. If she stays quiet, Lyra will become a victim. But coming forward feels equally impossible.
Seventeen-year-old Virginia makes bad choices. In fact, she’s That Kind of Girl, according to the whispers. But as long as she has her tight group of best friends by her side, she’s able to ignore the gossipers. Until she finds herself spending time with Rumi, Poppy’s boyfriend. Breaking with tradition, she doesn’t hook up with Rumi. Worse, she falls in love with him.
While Virginia and Rumi’s relationship grows in secret, she discovers that his little sister, Lyra, is being groomed for abuse. The soon-to-be-abuser is a respected member of the community, and only Virginia knows who he is and what he does. If she stays quiet, Lyra will become a victim. But coming forward feels equally impossible.
288 pages, Hardcover
First published May 23, 2023
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 265 reviews
April 25, 2023
Once there were five princesses. No, I mean five witches. Actually, they were goddesses. Anyway, whatever they were, they were friends.
This is the best YA contemporary I have read in years. A hard-hitting, compelling and awful story about a girl whose trauma causes a downward spiral that impacts her whole life, and the lives of those around her. Reminds me a bit of Louise O'Neill or Courtney Summers.
Ever Since is a book that hurts. It contains depictions of sexual assault, child sexual abuse, domestic violence, substance abuse and suicidal ideation... so it was always going to be a harrowing read, but what really makes the book stand out is Virginia's painfully honest voice. It is not always easy being inside her head, but the need to know she will be okay makes it impossible to look away from.
Bruzas adds another dose of power to the tale by interspersing it with stories of women from mythology-- Medea, Fatima, Aife, Sita --each a victim of abuse in one way or another, calling attention to the horrific timelessness and universality of Virginia's story.
It is so painful to watch Virginia spiral, turn to sex as a coping strategy, destroy friendships and rely on alcohol to get through the day. I, too, felt consumed by helplessness as her already small support network slipped away. I wanted her to speak up, get help, yet understood why she didn't. It is only when Virginia comes to suspect an eleven year old girl is being groomed for abuse that she starts to feel like maybe, finally, enough is enough.
The author's note is a must-read also.
July 19, 2023
Perfection.
Brilliant, painful, heartbreaking, and hopeful.
It's not that I'm stingy with my 5-star reviews, it's just that for me, I save them for the books which (1) I wouldn't change a single thing and (2) I want to scream and shake people and bash them over the head in my desperate attempt to get them to read the book.
Consider this me begging you to read this book.
You can watch my TikTok where I go into more details, here.
P.S.
I listened to the audiobook and fudge me, it's INCREDIBLE. I cannot recommend it enough.
Seriously, if the narrator doesn't win awards for this I will eat my hat.
Brilliant, painful, heartbreaking, and hopeful.
It's not that I'm stingy with my 5-star reviews, it's just that for me, I save them for the books which (1) I wouldn't change a single thing and (2) I want to scream and shake people and bash them over the head in my desperate attempt to get them to read the book.
Consider this me begging you to read this book.
You can watch my TikTok where I go into more details, here.
P.S.
I listened to the audiobook and fudge me, it's INCREDIBLE. I cannot recommend it enough.
Seriously, if the narrator doesn't win awards for this I will eat my hat.
November 17, 2023
A powerful young-adult novel about sexual violence and the silencing of survivors. I felt that Alena Bruzas did a great job of capturing the protagonist’s guilt, shame, and struggle to validate and regulate her own emotions. Bruzas portrays the toxic effects of victim-blaming and how people of various genders can perpetuate destructive attitudes toward those who have experienced sexual assault. I also appreciated how Bruzas captures the healing power of community and even people who will believe you and listen to you, full stop.
I agree with other reviewers who critiqued the writing style. I found the prose choppy and distracting. Still, a book that addresses an unarguably important topic with sensitivity and care – I respect how Bruzas poured her heart into this one.
I agree with other reviewers who critiqued the writing style. I found the prose choppy and distracting. Still, a book that addresses an unarguably important topic with sensitivity and care – I respect how Bruzas poured her heart into this one.
May 29, 2023
4/5 stars, this was a hard book to read, but such an important story
Thank you to Penguin Young Readers Group & Rocky Pond Books for the arc through netgalley and a physical arc copy in exchange for an honest review!
Initially, I didn't give this book a rating because I read it in only a couple of hours and really wanted to give it the contemplation it deserved. After thinking about it, I've settled on 4 stars because there were lots of things done very well within this story but I wish there had just been more of it. The book was really short, which allowed it to be very hard-hitting but I also wish that there had been just a little bit more length to allow some more things to sit longer within the story.
This is a painful book to read, it hurts watching the main character recount her trauma and how it begins a downward spiral in her whole final year of high school. I knew going into this that it was going to be hard to read, with trigger warnings of things related to sexual assault, child sexual abuse, domestic violence, substance abuse, suicidal ideation, and the breakup of friends (people can argue this isn't as bad as the others but coupled with it? isolation is never a good thing). Even with all this, the main character never loses her truly honest voice about everything.
Experiencing everything from her mind was difficult, it wasn't easy reading what went on in her mind and being inside dark parts of it, but it allowed for such a deeper connection. I really wanted to see if she was going to be okay, she really deserved so much better than the cards she was dealt in life and every page made me feel so many things for her. It was hard to just sit and watch her life slowly slip away from her, turning to sex as a coping strategy for what happened to her, damaging her friendships, and using alcohol to get through her days.
This book felt so tender, real, and very honest about how things like sexual abuse and domestic violence can impact anyone, but especially a teenager. I didn't feel like at any point the author was trying to glorify any of this, the writing didn't even feel like it was painting Virginia out to be a perfect person despite the things she did. No, it depicted her as a painfully real person who is going through things people around her didn't see. She's not perfect, and this story recognizes that, but it also recognizes her actions are a result of what she's been through.
Also, I don't usually read the author's notes, sometimes for my favorites, but I read a review where it said that I definitely should so I took the time after to reflect with the author. It's most definitely a must-read for delving deeper into this topic and acknowledging how many people go through these things every day. I just wish there had been a bit more time to let the story develop in the length, but honestly, this is one of the best young adult contemporaries that I've read that handles this sort of thing in such a solid way.
[TW: sexual assault, suicidal ideation, physical abuse, child abuse mentioned, sexual themes mentioned, alcohol use and abuse, child sexual abuse, trauma, sexual assault, death of parents, abortion, and teen pregnancy mentioned]
Thank you to Penguin Young Readers Group & Rocky Pond Books for the arc through netgalley and a physical arc copy in exchange for an honest review!
Initially, I didn't give this book a rating because I read it in only a couple of hours and really wanted to give it the contemplation it deserved. After thinking about it, I've settled on 4 stars because there were lots of things done very well within this story but I wish there had just been more of it. The book was really short, which allowed it to be very hard-hitting but I also wish that there had been just a little bit more length to allow some more things to sit longer within the story.
This is a painful book to read, it hurts watching the main character recount her trauma and how it begins a downward spiral in her whole final year of high school. I knew going into this that it was going to be hard to read, with trigger warnings of things related to sexual assault, child sexual abuse, domestic violence, substance abuse, suicidal ideation, and the breakup of friends (people can argue this isn't as bad as the others but coupled with it? isolation is never a good thing). Even with all this, the main character never loses her truly honest voice about everything.
Experiencing everything from her mind was difficult, it wasn't easy reading what went on in her mind and being inside dark parts of it, but it allowed for such a deeper connection. I really wanted to see if she was going to be okay, she really deserved so much better than the cards she was dealt in life and every page made me feel so many things for her. It was hard to just sit and watch her life slowly slip away from her, turning to sex as a coping strategy for what happened to her, damaging her friendships, and using alcohol to get through her days.
This book felt so tender, real, and very honest about how things like sexual abuse and domestic violence can impact anyone, but especially a teenager. I didn't feel like at any point the author was trying to glorify any of this, the writing didn't even feel like it was painting Virginia out to be a perfect person despite the things she did. No, it depicted her as a painfully real person who is going through things people around her didn't see. She's not perfect, and this story recognizes that, but it also recognizes her actions are a result of what she's been through.
Also, I don't usually read the author's notes, sometimes for my favorites, but I read a review where it said that I definitely should so I took the time after to reflect with the author. It's most definitely a must-read for delving deeper into this topic and acknowledging how many people go through these things every day. I just wish there had been a bit more time to let the story develop in the length, but honestly, this is one of the best young adult contemporaries that I've read that handles this sort of thing in such a solid way.
[TW: sexual assault, suicidal ideation, physical abuse, child abuse mentioned, sexual themes mentioned, alcohol use and abuse, child sexual abuse, trauma, sexual assault, death of parents, abortion, and teen pregnancy mentioned]
May 13, 2023
Incredible. This story realistically relates trauma from sexual abuse as a child, sexual assault, the difficulties these things bring to a teenage girl's life and her view of herself. I really felt this. As a survivor, I related so much with this main character. The division her trauma caused between her and her friends through drug and alcohol use is just one of the multitude of examples a teenager and also, adults, deal with the corruption of their youth.
This is a hard topic to read about, and I want to warn any to be readers that this hits hard and goes into some detail. However, what an important book! I've read several stories this year by authors who have survived this trauma, and I am continuously in awe.
The gorgeous and heart-wrenching descriptions of certain mythology characters, particularly Medea, that were sprinkled throughout this story is another example of finding a voice to speak through this trauma. And, it was really, like I've already said, hard hitting... as it should be.
There are no happy stories of childhood abuse and trauma... but there is hope.
Out May 23, 2023!
Thank you, Netgalley and Publisher, for this Arc!
This is a hard topic to read about, and I want to warn any to be readers that this hits hard and goes into some detail. However, what an important book! I've read several stories this year by authors who have survived this trauma, and I am continuously in awe.
The gorgeous and heart-wrenching descriptions of certain mythology characters, particularly Medea, that were sprinkled throughout this story is another example of finding a voice to speak through this trauma. And, it was really, like I've already said, hard hitting... as it should be.
There are no happy stories of childhood abuse and trauma... but there is hope.
Out May 23, 2023!
Thank you, Netgalley and Publisher, for this Arc!
August 22, 2023
This book broke my heart.
July 14, 2023
Thank you net galley for providing me with an advanced readers copy in exchange for a honest review.
I had mixed feelings reading this.
While the later chapters ( from chapter 14 to chapter 26) truly pulled at my heartstrings, the first chapters were extremely difficult to get through.
I blame this due to the writing style itself,as we get no descriptions of neither the side characters appearance and personalities nor the world itself around the characters. Therefore I could not feel attached to this story.
With that out of the way, I need to clarify that the topic of SA as in itself IS well handled. The victim blaming and self destructiveness Virginia faces are all well explored, which is arguably the most important aspect of the book.
The storyline regarding Rumis romance with Virginia, was however badly written which adds to me taking 2 stars off, along with my previous comment about the writing style.
Overall I would *hesitantly* possibly recommend this book
I had mixed feelings reading this.
While the later chapters ( from chapter 14 to chapter 26) truly pulled at my heartstrings, the first chapters were extremely difficult to get through.
I blame this due to the writing style itself,as we get no descriptions of neither the side characters appearance and personalities nor the world itself around the characters. Therefore I could not feel attached to this story.
With that out of the way, I need to clarify that the topic of SA as in itself IS well handled. The victim blaming and self destructiveness Virginia faces are all well explored, which is arguably the most important aspect of the book.
The storyline regarding Rumis romance with Virginia, was however badly written which adds to me taking 2 stars off, along with my previous comment about the writing style.
Overall I would *hesitantly* possibly recommend this book
December 24, 2022
Trigger warning: SA, alcohol abuse
Review may contain slight spoilers.
Wow. I don't really even know where to begin.
First, thank you to the author, Alena Bruzas, for providing me an e-arc of EVER SINCE to consume. Because that's what I did. I consumed this book. I lived inside it. My heart ached with the characters. I got angry. Sad. Frustrated. My heart panged for the sweet love that could have bloomed between two characters.
Because that's what the best books make you do: they make you feel something. Even if you walk away from a book frustrated at a character or at the ending or wanting more of this storyline or less of another...the writer did their job. If you felt something, even if you felt unhappy things, the writer did their job--they got you to FEEL. to care enough to want more. to care enough to critique.
Alena did her job.
Young Adult is such a full, saturated market. I can say this as a YA author myself. There's been a push lately to publish high concept, fast-paced novels and yes, those are exciting and there is room for that, but it's also just as important, in my opinion, to publish the quieter books. the books that deal with tougher issues (aka "issue books"). the books that are sometimes hard to read.
every reader, young and old, deserves to see themselves in literature. Alena has done an exceptional job of telling Virginia's story. Her prose is SO STUNNING. there were lines that stopped me DEAD IN MY TRACKS. I walked away from this story with expanded empathy for a situation that luckily has never affected me. this book will bring comfort to so many readers because it's not just a story about a girl who has dealt with some sh**ty things--it's a story about hope and the power of friendship.
I highly recommend this 2023 read!
Review may contain slight spoilers.
Wow. I don't really even know where to begin.
First, thank you to the author, Alena Bruzas, for providing me an e-arc of EVER SINCE to consume. Because that's what I did. I consumed this book. I lived inside it. My heart ached with the characters. I got angry. Sad. Frustrated. My heart panged for the sweet love that could have bloomed between two characters.
Because that's what the best books make you do: they make you feel something. Even if you walk away from a book frustrated at a character or at the ending or wanting more of this storyline or less of another...the writer did their job. If you felt something, even if you felt unhappy things, the writer did their job--they got you to FEEL. to care enough to want more. to care enough to critique.
Alena did her job.
Young Adult is such a full, saturated market. I can say this as a YA author myself. There's been a push lately to publish high concept, fast-paced novels and yes, those are exciting and there is room for that, but it's also just as important, in my opinion, to publish the quieter books. the books that deal with tougher issues (aka "issue books"). the books that are sometimes hard to read.
every reader, young and old, deserves to see themselves in literature. Alena has done an exceptional job of telling Virginia's story. Her prose is SO STUNNING. there were lines that stopped me DEAD IN MY TRACKS. I walked away from this story with expanded empathy for a situation that luckily has never affected me. this book will bring comfort to so many readers because it's not just a story about a girl who has dealt with some sh**ty things--it's a story about hope and the power of friendship.
I highly recommend this 2023 read!
September 20, 2022
This is such an important read and one that perfectly dissects and lays bare the devastating effects of child molestation. It is as accurate analysis of grooming and the ways that some children are particularly vulnerable to sexual assault. And it is two hundred plus pages of heartbreak. It’s beautifully written and mostly internal, with readers being taken on a journey through the mind of a girl who has been beaten and left for dead but is trying with all her might to survive and to thrive.
December 24, 2023
i liked the comparisons to mythology 🤷♀️
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May 9, 2023this book made me cry on the subway
visceral and gut-wrenching; I could feel the words on my skin
visceral and gut-wrenching; I could feel the words on my skin
August 15, 2023
5🌟
Seventeen year old Virginia is known as “That Girl” – the one who’s promiscuous and always makes the wrong decision. But she has four friends who love her and protect her from her terrible home life and she knows that with them, she’ll be safe. It’s the summer before their senior year of high school and it feels like the whole world belongs to them. But when Virginia’s best friend Poppy leaves unexpectedly for the summer, a tidal wave of life-changing events is set forth and Virginia will need to decide if she’s brave enough to change her story.
When Lauren at @Laurens.Little.Library begs you to read a book, you read the book – and holy shit this book! I (very thankfully) haven’t experienced the horrible things Virginia was subjected to, but the way that Alena Bruzas was able to capture high school friend group dynamics and bullying had my heart in a vice grip. I was thrown right back into my own high school experience and the devastation of losing your best friends. This was an absolutely stunning and brutally beautiful debut; Alena tackles incredibly difficult topics with such compassion and empathy. I was truly blown away and the author’s note at the end made me want to give her the biggest hug. I can’t recommend this book highly enough, but PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE check trigger warnings beforehand!
Seventeen year old Virginia is known as “That Girl” – the one who’s promiscuous and always makes the wrong decision. But she has four friends who love her and protect her from her terrible home life and she knows that with them, she’ll be safe. It’s the summer before their senior year of high school and it feels like the whole world belongs to them. But when Virginia’s best friend Poppy leaves unexpectedly for the summer, a tidal wave of life-changing events is set forth and Virginia will need to decide if she’s brave enough to change her story.
When Lauren at @Laurens.Little.Library begs you to read a book, you read the book – and holy shit this book! I (very thankfully) haven’t experienced the horrible things Virginia was subjected to, but the way that Alena Bruzas was able to capture high school friend group dynamics and bullying had my heart in a vice grip. I was thrown right back into my own high school experience and the devastation of losing your best friends. This was an absolutely stunning and brutally beautiful debut; Alena tackles incredibly difficult topics with such compassion and empathy. I was truly blown away and the author’s note at the end made me want to give her the biggest hug. I can’t recommend this book highly enough, but PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE check trigger warnings beforehand!
January 1, 2024
I am SOBBING this was so good 😭
Words can't adequately explain how much I loved this heartbreakingly beautiful book 🤍
#EverSince by @alenabeee is such a powerful, intense and emotional story of abuse and trauma and though it was definitely hard to read at times, I loved every second of it. It is so painful to watch what Virginia goes through, that she goes through it alone and doesn't have anyone to help her. She unfortunately turns to unhealthy coping mechanisms until she finds her voice, and eventually learns there are other ways to deal with trauma.
I read this as an #audiobook thanks to @prhaudio @penguinteen, and i loved it so much. Gail Shalom narrated, and I highly recommend the audiobook. I loved this book so much i went out and bought a copy.
Words can't adequately explain how much I loved this heartbreakingly beautiful book 🤍
#EverSince by @alenabeee is such a powerful, intense and emotional story of abuse and trauma and though it was definitely hard to read at times, I loved every second of it. It is so painful to watch what Virginia goes through, that she goes through it alone and doesn't have anyone to help her. She unfortunately turns to unhealthy coping mechanisms until she finds her voice, and eventually learns there are other ways to deal with trauma.
I read this as an #audiobook thanks to @prhaudio @penguinteen, and i loved it so much. Gail Shalom narrated, and I highly recommend the audiobook. I loved this book so much i went out and bought a copy.
May 23, 2023
Ever Since is the debut of Alena Bruzas and it will be one of the first books published by Rocky Pond Books. This is an imprint from Penguin Group that will publish books with a primary focus on mental health and social-emotional learning. This book is fiction, even though it is based on the real life story of the author. This book has content warnings for sexual assault, child sexual abuse, suicidal ideation and drug abuse. This content warnings describe this book really well already, but what will this debut have in store?
Find out in my review on my blog Boekensteeg
Find out in my review on my blog Boekensteeg
September 3, 2023
this book hurt.
March 14, 2023
This book will break your heart and put you back together. Highly recommend.
June 23, 2023
Wow. This book is absolutely devastating. I'm not sure I'll recover anytime soon but it was so good.
July 19, 2023
This was just phenomenal - one of the best YA books i've read in a looooonggg time.
July 20, 2023
Made me cry once. SO good. The writing was perfect for this book. I loved the friendships. I loved that we got different realistic versions of parents. LOVED Virginia, loved her with Lyra, loved Ro and Rumi and Suzanna and and and. I'm so happy I read this. A hard hitter. The author's note, too. I will definitely look for Alena Bruzas' work in the future.
tw/cw: child sexual abuse, sexual abuse, drugs/alcohol, abusive behavior, trauma, anxiety/panic attacks, suicide ideation, grooming
tw/cw: child sexual abuse, sexual abuse, drugs/alcohol, abusive behavior, trauma, anxiety/panic attacks, suicide ideation, grooming
September 13, 2023
When things feel beyond your control. You tell yourself a story. Once upon a time.
This book is awfully dark, twisted, harrowing, and gut wrenching. It features illustrations of child sexual abuse, domestic violence, sexual assault, grooming, trauma, and suicidal thoughts.
Ever Since is a book that will break your heart. It tells story of seventeen-year-old Virginia, who isn't the archetypal "innocent" victim. She had sex, she drinks, she smokes pot, and she doesn't say NO while being sexually assaulted out of fear of being labeled as frigid. This is a story of a girl who makes bad choices. She is judged a lot. She has been called slut. As she lacked the courage to tell her story, she grapples with her personal trauma alone. She let her friend drift away. She remains unable to voice her feelings even when she yearns to do so. She then turns to mythological tales of goddesses and witches, each of whom was abused in some way. Through Alena Bruzas's pen, I sensed her raw and unfiltered vulnerability, and I felt a knot start to develop in my throat. I desperately wanted her to speak up, get help, yet understood reasons behind her silence.
Ever Since is also important, hopeful, and incredibly powerful. Because finally Virginia starts to find the strength to reclaim her power and share her tale once she begins to think an eleven-year-old girl is being groomed for abuse.
P.S. I don't usually read the author's notes. But I read it this time and I can say with certainty that it's a must-read for learning more about this subject and realising how many individuals experience these things on a daily basis.
Read
April 26, 2023I rarely DNF a book, and now I managed to DNF two in one week. I’m not sure if I should applaud myself or feel very bad about it. I definitely hate it that I had to DNF this one.
I only got the ARC of Ever Since some days ago, and even though I have quite a few other galleys on my ARC shelf, I decided to read Ever Since first. A story about trauma. A story about abuse. A story with many trigger warnings. But trigger warnings never withheld me from picking up a book, and didn’t now. If you know me a little, you probably know I can handle darker stories and flawed characters pretty well.
Then I started reading. And immediately hated the writing. It’s choppy with fragmented paragraphs, and I stumbled time and again over one particular word: and. After reading only one page, it already irritated me. I kept seeing that word: She asks us … AND she says … AND then she starts … AND I close … AND listen. (This is one sentence.)
So, this book is not for me. But … don’t let this review discourage you to read it! Ever Since might be a great one for you. The premise is really important, and I’ve seen raving reviews about how Alena Bruzas handled sexual assault. And people whose opinion I trust, loved this book. So, please, please read other reviews if you’re interested in Ever Since!
I received an ARC from Penguin Young Readers Group and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
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I only got the ARC of Ever Since some days ago, and even though I have quite a few other galleys on my ARC shelf, I decided to read Ever Since first. A story about trauma. A story about abuse. A story with many trigger warnings. But trigger warnings never withheld me from picking up a book, and didn’t now. If you know me a little, you probably know I can handle darker stories and flawed characters pretty well.
Then I started reading. And immediately hated the writing. It’s choppy with fragmented paragraphs, and I stumbled time and again over one particular word: and. After reading only one page, it already irritated me. I kept seeing that word: She asks us … AND she says … AND then she starts … AND I close … AND listen. (This is one sentence.)
So, this book is not for me. But … don’t let this review discourage you to read it! Ever Since might be a great one for you. The premise is really important, and I’ve seen raving reviews about how Alena Bruzas handled sexual assault. And people whose opinion I trust, loved this book. So, please, please read other reviews if you’re interested in Ever Since!
I received an ARC from Penguin Young Readers Group and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
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May 19, 2023
"Ever Since" by Alena Bruzas is a tough, gritty story that follows a group of teens struggling to cope with some very big secrets. This raw and gritty YA novel invites an honest conversation about how to understand and approach tough subjects such as trauma and sexual assault. For those who don’t want an easy story and those who can relate to these topics, this book was written for you.
“Ever Since” is not about the troubled kids or the rough group of girls who look for trouble and finally receive it. They’re the average group of kids who, unfortunately, are dealing with their own personal troubles and, unbeknownst to them, a shared trauma. These secrets cause their bond to disintegrate, and for them to turn on one another, instead of seeking refuge in their friendship. When it becomes clear the same incident that happened to them is about to happen to someone else, the girls have a tough choice to make: remain silent and let the abuse continue or speak up and risk everything.
While many YA novels successfully tackle substance abuse, trauma, bullying, and sexual assault, there is something so heartbreakingly intimate about Bruzas’ writing that reels you in and won’t let go. Perhaps it’s the novel's tone, which reflects the hopelessness and terror of the main character as she is constantly put in situations that worsen her mental health. Or maybe it’s the vivid details that force you to see and feel and experience what the characters do. Every emotion and thought and sensory experience is laid bare to immerse the reader not just in the story, but the characters’ lives.
This is a tough one to read because Bruzas doesn’t gloss over the brutality of what the girls experience with pretty words, nor does she try to romanticize the abuse they’re put through. And maybe that’s why I enjoyed the story so much. Bruzas doesn’t glamourize the effects of trauma or the situations the girls intentionally put themselves in to try and feel better or to forget what they’ve been through. It’s the first story where I thought I understood something about abuse and how that can flip a whole person’s life upside down, as well as everyone around them.
“Ever Since” is an important book to read, but one with many trigger warnings readers need to be aware of before picking it up.
“Ever Since” by Alena Bruzas is expected to be published on May 23, 2023. If this book speaks to you, add it to your TBR and look for it on shelves on its publication date.
Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Young Readers Group, Rocky Pond Books for providing me with a free e-arc and the opportunity to share my honest opinion in this review.
“Ever Since” is not about the troubled kids or the rough group of girls who look for trouble and finally receive it. They’re the average group of kids who, unfortunately, are dealing with their own personal troubles and, unbeknownst to them, a shared trauma. These secrets cause their bond to disintegrate, and for them to turn on one another, instead of seeking refuge in their friendship. When it becomes clear the same incident that happened to them is about to happen to someone else, the girls have a tough choice to make: remain silent and let the abuse continue or speak up and risk everything.
While many YA novels successfully tackle substance abuse, trauma, bullying, and sexual assault, there is something so heartbreakingly intimate about Bruzas’ writing that reels you in and won’t let go. Perhaps it’s the novel's tone, which reflects the hopelessness and terror of the main character as she is constantly put in situations that worsen her mental health. Or maybe it’s the vivid details that force you to see and feel and experience what the characters do. Every emotion and thought and sensory experience is laid bare to immerse the reader not just in the story, but the characters’ lives.
This is a tough one to read because Bruzas doesn’t gloss over the brutality of what the girls experience with pretty words, nor does she try to romanticize the abuse they’re put through. And maybe that’s why I enjoyed the story so much. Bruzas doesn’t glamourize the effects of trauma or the situations the girls intentionally put themselves in to try and feel better or to forget what they’ve been through. It’s the first story where I thought I understood something about abuse and how that can flip a whole person’s life upside down, as well as everyone around them.
“Ever Since” is an important book to read, but one with many trigger warnings readers need to be aware of before picking it up.
“Ever Since” by Alena Bruzas is expected to be published on May 23, 2023. If this book speaks to you, add it to your TBR and look for it on shelves on its publication date.
Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Young Readers Group, Rocky Pond Books for providing me with a free e-arc and the opportunity to share my honest opinion in this review.
July 19, 2023
Thanks for the ARC book @netgalley
✨
🧚♀️Trigger Warnings: Abuso Sexu@l, Pedofili@, Negligencia familiar, abuso de sustancias.
✨
🧚♀️Que decir de este libro, me rompió el alma, me hizo llorar, fue como ir a terapia, me hizo ver el valor de la amistad y fue una montaña rusa de emociones.
🧚Escritura: Es el libro debut de la autora y quede enamorada de su forma de escribir y de narrar una historia tan desgarradora y real tanto para ella, como para mí, como para un montón de personas.
🧚♀️Que me gusto: Realmente todo, al principio del libro no esperaba mucho, se veía como la típica historia de adolescentes en la secundaria, pero qué equivocada estaba, con el pasar de las páginas comienzas a ver la verdadera trama de este y es una trama fuerte, de nuevo desgarradora, hay escenas fuertes (sobre todo al final de este) que no son fáciles de leer, es un libro que cada día en donde lo leía era atacada llorando de lo cercano que se sintió y es que aunque afortunadamente no he vivido todo lo que Virginia (nuestra protagonista) ha tenido que vivir, si he vivido ciertas experiencias que ella experimenta a lo largo de este libro; experiencias que no he querido hablar con nadie y leerlas aquí me destruyo, pero a la vez me ayudo a sanarme un poco. También la amistad de este libro es *goals*, hubo momentos donde quería matar a alguien de este grupo de amigas, hubo rabia, dolor, pero el final de estas 5 chicas me dejo el corazón agridulce, porque todas tienen sus traumas, pero su lazo de amor es más fuerte y es que dios las amo y llevo a cada una de ellas en mi corazón.
🧚♀️Que no me gusto: Realmente amé todo, así que no hay nada malo para mí.
🧚♀️Lo recomiendo: Sí, pero no es para todo el mundo, ten presente los trigger warnings, porque es un libro con escenas muy fuertes, así que si eres sensible a alguno de los temas mencionados mejor no lo leas, pero si alguien le quiere dar una oportunidad vale totalmente la pena.
🧚♀️Me hizo reír: Sí, pero no es un libro en su mayoría gracioso, solo que hay un personaje que me encanta y me hizo sacar varias risas.
🧚♀️Me hizo llorar: Como una magdalena, es el libro con el que más he llorado en mi vida.
🧚♀️Tengo un nuevo ship: Sí, aunque no es un libro de romance, hay dos pequeñas historias de ''amor'' que me gustaron bastante.
🧚♀️Mejor personaje de la historia: Virginia, es el personaje con el que me siento más identificada en mi vida lectora, si pudiera ponerla en un cristal y protegerla de todo mal, lo haría.
🧚Representación LGTBIQ+: Aunque es poca, la hay y ame a su representante. }
🧚Te gusto el final: Sí, es un final de sanación, de amistad, de superar y hablar de nuestros traumas y de saber que no estás solo o sola.
🧚 Puntuación: 5/5 ✨✨✨✨✨+
✨
🧚♀️Trigger Warnings: Abuso Sexu@l, Pedofili@, Negligencia familiar, abuso de sustancias.
✨
🧚♀️Que decir de este libro, me rompió el alma, me hizo llorar, fue como ir a terapia, me hizo ver el valor de la amistad y fue una montaña rusa de emociones.
🧚Escritura: Es el libro debut de la autora y quede enamorada de su forma de escribir y de narrar una historia tan desgarradora y real tanto para ella, como para mí, como para un montón de personas.
🧚♀️Que me gusto: Realmente todo, al principio del libro no esperaba mucho, se veía como la típica historia de adolescentes en la secundaria, pero qué equivocada estaba, con el pasar de las páginas comienzas a ver la verdadera trama de este y es una trama fuerte, de nuevo desgarradora, hay escenas fuertes (sobre todo al final de este) que no son fáciles de leer, es un libro que cada día en donde lo leía era atacada llorando de lo cercano que se sintió y es que aunque afortunadamente no he vivido todo lo que Virginia (nuestra protagonista) ha tenido que vivir, si he vivido ciertas experiencias que ella experimenta a lo largo de este libro; experiencias que no he querido hablar con nadie y leerlas aquí me destruyo, pero a la vez me ayudo a sanarme un poco. También la amistad de este libro es *goals*, hubo momentos donde quería matar a alguien de este grupo de amigas, hubo rabia, dolor, pero el final de estas 5 chicas me dejo el corazón agridulce, porque todas tienen sus traumas, pero su lazo de amor es más fuerte y es que dios las amo y llevo a cada una de ellas en mi corazón.
🧚♀️Que no me gusto: Realmente amé todo, así que no hay nada malo para mí.
🧚♀️Lo recomiendo: Sí, pero no es para todo el mundo, ten presente los trigger warnings, porque es un libro con escenas muy fuertes, así que si eres sensible a alguno de los temas mencionados mejor no lo leas, pero si alguien le quiere dar una oportunidad vale totalmente la pena.
🧚♀️Me hizo reír: Sí, pero no es un libro en su mayoría gracioso, solo que hay un personaje que me encanta y me hizo sacar varias risas.
🧚♀️Me hizo llorar: Como una magdalena, es el libro con el que más he llorado en mi vida.
🧚♀️Tengo un nuevo ship: Sí, aunque no es un libro de romance, hay dos pequeñas historias de ''amor'' que me gustaron bastante.
🧚♀️Mejor personaje de la historia: Virginia, es el personaje con el que me siento más identificada en mi vida lectora, si pudiera ponerla en un cristal y protegerla de todo mal, lo haría.
🧚Representación LGTBIQ+: Aunque es poca, la hay y ame a su representante. }
🧚Te gusto el final: Sí, es un final de sanación, de amistad, de superar y hablar de nuestros traumas y de saber que no estás solo o sola.
🧚 Puntuación: 5/5 ✨✨✨✨✨+
May 19, 2023
4.5 stars
I don't even know where to begin. This is not a happy story, but it's a story that needs to be told. From the summary on the Goodreads/Amazon page, I knew that this book is about sexual abuse, so I had to prepare myself for a tough read. And it is that. But as much as it reminds us how terrible this world can be, it's also about a girl, Virginia, who decides to speak up, even if she knows she won't be believed, even if she knows she's just opening herself up for more abuse, even by her own friends, because she can't watch someone she cares about go through what she went through. It's about the victims taking back their own agency.
Within this narrative, the author spun the tales of Medea, Fatima, Aife, and Sita, four women from mythology who were also abused, reflecting what Virginia suffered and felt, and the self-destructive behavior she fell into to try to escape everything in her head. It was very well done but it also reminded me just how long women have been abused, but even worse, been dismissed, disbelieved, and called liars and many other terrible names if they dare speak up.
Though only 288 pages, the story was a slow burn, and I didn't feel as if I got to know her friends early on. I had trouble keeping them straight and was confused about which one was dating which guy and so on. But somewhere around chapter 7, I started to get immersed and ended up reading the rest in one sitting. And then chapter 13 hit and I started figuring things out and the tears started. I was sniffling on and off until the end of the book.
The author's note at the end is important to read. While this story is fictional, it channels her own pain.
I highly recommend this story, but trigger warnings include sexual assault, grooming, child abuse, child neglect, and alcohol and drug abuse. This is one of those stories that are not easy to read, but these stories matter.
I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book from NetGalley and the Publisher. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
I don't even know where to begin. This is not a happy story, but it's a story that needs to be told. From the summary on the Goodreads/Amazon page, I knew that this book is about sexual abuse, so I had to prepare myself for a tough read. And it is that. But as much as it reminds us how terrible this world can be, it's also about a girl, Virginia, who decides to speak up, even if she knows she won't be believed, even if she knows she's just opening herself up for more abuse, even by her own friends, because she can't watch someone she cares about go through what she went through. It's about the victims taking back their own agency.
Within this narrative, the author spun the tales of Medea, Fatima, Aife, and Sita, four women from mythology who were also abused, reflecting what Virginia suffered and felt, and the self-destructive behavior she fell into to try to escape everything in her head. It was very well done but it also reminded me just how long women have been abused, but even worse, been dismissed, disbelieved, and called liars and many other terrible names if they dare speak up.
Though only 288 pages, the story was a slow burn, and I didn't feel as if I got to know her friends early on. I had trouble keeping them straight and was confused about which one was dating which guy and so on. But somewhere around chapter 7, I started to get immersed and ended up reading the rest in one sitting. And then chapter 13 hit and I started figuring things out and the tears started. I was sniffling on and off until the end of the book.
The author's note at the end is important to read. While this story is fictional, it channels her own pain.
I highly recommend this story, but trigger warnings include sexual assault, grooming, child abuse, child neglect, and alcohol and drug abuse. This is one of those stories that are not easy to read, but these stories matter.
I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book from NetGalley and the Publisher. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
July 16, 2023
Raw and emotional; painfully real. The last summer of highschool for Virginia and her friends starts out normally, hanging out and partying, making the most of their time together... But things quickly fall apart. Poppy, Virginia's closest friend leaves overnight, without a word. Virginia's used to relying on Poppy when things get too hard at home, and she doesn't really know where she stands without her. Poppy's boyfriend, Rumi, has also been left behind without a word. So it just makes sense that they would come together, though it could be seen as troubling pattern forming with Virginia and her friends' boyfriends. As Virginia starts to get closer to Rumi, she also forms a connection with his younger sister, Lyra. When she realizes that Lyra is being groomed by an older man, Virginia has to confront events from her past which she had tried to bury with drugs and alcohol, partying and meaningless sex. Setting this secret free will upend Virginia's life, but may help save Lyra.
Wow. What a visceral story. You see the world through Virginia's eyes, and boy is it hard. From the start, you know that something traumatic has occurred, and she's just struggling to to get by, not prepared to confront it yet. You yearn for her to come forward, but it's so clear why she doesn't feel that she can. As the past is unveiled bit by bit, your heart will break further and further for Virginia. There's so much pain here, but the ending gives you hope. Stories like these are so important, and reading the author's note on this one really helps to solidify the realness of this narrative. Not an easy read, but definitely worth it.
I received a complimentary copy of this book. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
Wow. What a visceral story. You see the world through Virginia's eyes, and boy is it hard. From the start, you know that something traumatic has occurred, and she's just struggling to to get by, not prepared to confront it yet. You yearn for her to come forward, but it's so clear why she doesn't feel that she can. As the past is unveiled bit by bit, your heart will break further and further for Virginia. There's so much pain here, but the ending gives you hope. Stories like these are so important, and reading the author's note on this one really helps to solidify the realness of this narrative. Not an easy read, but definitely worth it.
I received a complimentary copy of this book. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
April 27, 2023
Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for providing me with an ARC of Ever Since. All opinions are my own.
Ever Since takes us on a heartbreaking path through Virginia’s life as we view the aftermath of sexual assault violence and how it affects the everyday actions Virginia chooses to make.
This book is so important for young girls to have access to for a multitude of reasons, but mostly to know that should they ever go through sexual assault, they are not alone and there are people who care what happens to them.
Ever Since flushes out how the events of sexual assault trickle down and cause detrimental effects on the rest of one’s life and we see that with Virginia. When she notices a young girl may be going through the same thing she did, she wants to help her. But doing that would mean Virginia must face her own trauma, and she doesn’t know if she can do that.
We have a very close, first person point of view on Virginia that really makes the story personal and evokes many emotions. You can really tell how much the author cared about getting the topics written in a meaningful, respectful way.
There was also a friend group with five girls that was one of my favorite aspects of the book to see their intertwined relationships with each other. The book has a diverse cast with sapphic and trans representation.
Trigger warnings for sexual assault, sexual violence, child sexual assault, child grooming, drug and alcohol abuse, physical/mental abuse, sexual harassment, suicidal thoughts, child neglect.
Ever Since takes us on a heartbreaking path through Virginia’s life as we view the aftermath of sexual assault violence and how it affects the everyday actions Virginia chooses to make.
This book is so important for young girls to have access to for a multitude of reasons, but mostly to know that should they ever go through sexual assault, they are not alone and there are people who care what happens to them.
Ever Since flushes out how the events of sexual assault trickle down and cause detrimental effects on the rest of one’s life and we see that with Virginia. When she notices a young girl may be going through the same thing she did, she wants to help her. But doing that would mean Virginia must face her own trauma, and she doesn’t know if she can do that.
We have a very close, first person point of view on Virginia that really makes the story personal and evokes many emotions. You can really tell how much the author cared about getting the topics written in a meaningful, respectful way.
There was also a friend group with five girls that was one of my favorite aspects of the book to see their intertwined relationships with each other. The book has a diverse cast with sapphic and trans representation.
Trigger warnings for sexual assault, sexual violence, child sexual assault, child grooming, drug and alcohol abuse, physical/mental abuse, sexual harassment, suicidal thoughts, child neglect.
April 24, 2023
I really appreciated receiving an early copy of this novel!! It is the book that has made me cry the most this year. In fact, the crying started early and really didn’t stop until the end.
Ever Since is a devastatingly delicate book on finding the courage to speak up in the face of abuse.
Virginia is a girl who is so often judged by her peers, and sometimes even her own friends, that she leans into THEIR ideas of who she is. This comes straight from her own trauma which essentially wiped out her self-worth and her own sense of identity. While the character is meant to be unlikable for her actions and behaviors, I truly love her.
Bruzas did a masterful job creating a character whose intentions can’t always match her actions, and she did this without explicitly having to say: trauma might make you like this.
While I do not share the main character’s history, as a reader, I understood the way one mistake can make you feel like you might as well lean into bad choices—especially when it seems like the world won’t forgive you anyway.
This book has been living in my head for weeks after finishing. I highly recommend it!
Ever Since is a devastatingly delicate book on finding the courage to speak up in the face of abuse.
Virginia is a girl who is so often judged by her peers, and sometimes even her own friends, that she leans into THEIR ideas of who she is. This comes straight from her own trauma which essentially wiped out her self-worth and her own sense of identity. While the character is meant to be unlikable for her actions and behaviors, I truly love her.
Bruzas did a masterful job creating a character whose intentions can’t always match her actions, and she did this without explicitly having to say: trauma might make you like this.
While I do not share the main character’s history, as a reader, I understood the way one mistake can make you feel like you might as well lean into bad choices—especially when it seems like the world won’t forgive you anyway.
This book has been living in my head for weeks after finishing. I highly recommend it!
January 2, 2023
Ever Since tells a story that is heartbreaking and hopeful all at once. Alena captures the essence of female friendships so well that every character feels familiar. Ever Since tackles some incredibly difficult scenarios with honesty and care - and without becoming an after school special. I did set this book down to cry a few times. Ever Since highlights the importance of community and the strength that even the loneliest, most "broken" of us have to tell our truths and to heal. A beautifully written story with full and complicated characters has made Ever Since one of my favorite books, I only wish I had been able to read it when I needed it most. I have already read Ever Since twice and I cannot wait to read it again.
March 24, 2024
5⭐️
Thank you to Penguin random house audio for the gifted audiobook - I did this read as a mixture of listening and physically tabbing and annotating my hardback copy.
This is an absolute masterpiece.
I think any person who has been a victim of SA, or who didn’t say no, whether for their own safety or for fear of the reaction it would receive, for anyone who has felt that body doesn’t belong to them, this is a beautiful, heart wrenching read.
Please check the trigger warnings!
This story highlights cycles of abuse, how the ‘problem child’ may truly be suffering at home, mentally, and may be revictimized over and over. It shows how, especially when coming of age, our understanding of consent isn’t totally there. There is a hope in this story as well, lessons on if we take the time to put ourselves in other people shoes and talk about our experiences. We might be more similar than we realize and that we will find our strength with one another.
I even think a lot of people will be able to connect to a moment in the story where Virginia, our FMC, learn that some thing she went through was SA, when someone from the outside tells her it was. I think many of us went through that during the ‘Me Too’ movement when we got clarity of coercion not being consent, of a ‘maybe’ not being consent and so on.
After finishing this story, I needed to take some time to really sit with the emotions that it brought out in me. There were so many things in this that resonated with me, and my own experience. But it also made me think about other people that I knew in high school or knew of that I may have had judgmental thoughts about and now I’m wondering what they may have been going through at the time.
This is by no means and easy read, and I would recommend going into it when you were in the right mindset for it, but it is perfection.
If you have the option, I would say the best way to consume this book is on audio. I was absolutely blown away by Gail Shalan’s narration. Her voice acting fully captured the emotions throughout the story.
I read some other reviews where people didn’t necessarily like the choppiness of some of the prose, but I can say if you read this on audio, you would not feel that way. Hearing those sections on audio I can confidently say that that writing was done perfectly to depict the state of the characters emotions.
* This story also had perfectly integrated representation of both LGBTQIA+ and POC characters.*
*I will come back and add some quotes I promise - just not home with my physical rn*
Thank you to Penguin random house audio for the gifted audiobook - I did this read as a mixture of listening and physically tabbing and annotating my hardback copy.
This is an absolute masterpiece.
I think any person who has been a victim of SA, or who didn’t say no, whether for their own safety or for fear of the reaction it would receive, for anyone who has felt that body doesn’t belong to them, this is a beautiful, heart wrenching read.
Please check the trigger warnings!
This story highlights cycles of abuse, how the ‘problem child’ may truly be suffering at home, mentally, and may be revictimized over and over. It shows how, especially when coming of age, our understanding of consent isn’t totally there. There is a hope in this story as well, lessons on if we take the time to put ourselves in other people shoes and talk about our experiences. We might be more similar than we realize and that we will find our strength with one another.
I even think a lot of people will be able to connect to a moment in the story where Virginia, our FMC, learn that some thing she went through was SA, when someone from the outside tells her it was. I think many of us went through that during the ‘Me Too’ movement when we got clarity of coercion not being consent, of a ‘maybe’ not being consent and so on.
After finishing this story, I needed to take some time to really sit with the emotions that it brought out in me. There were so many things in this that resonated with me, and my own experience. But it also made me think about other people that I knew in high school or knew of that I may have had judgmental thoughts about and now I’m wondering what they may have been going through at the time.
This is by no means and easy read, and I would recommend going into it when you were in the right mindset for it, but it is perfection.
If you have the option, I would say the best way to consume this book is on audio. I was absolutely blown away by Gail Shalan’s narration. Her voice acting fully captured the emotions throughout the story.
I read some other reviews where people didn’t necessarily like the choppiness of some of the prose, but I can say if you read this on audio, you would not feel that way. Hearing those sections on audio I can confidently say that that writing was done perfectly to depict the state of the characters emotions.
* This story also had perfectly integrated representation of both LGBTQIA+ and POC characters.*
*I will come back and add some quotes I promise - just not home with my physical rn*
May 23, 2023
Seventeen-year-old Virginia has a reputation and she's trouble. Not only is she a party girl, but she's secretly sleeping with one of her best friend's boyfriends. When another of her best friends mysteriously disappears for the summer and doesn't return anyone's calls or texts, Virginia begins hanging out with her boyfriend, too. This time Virginia doesn't sleep with him, it's worse, she falls for him, hard.
As the two of them grow closer, Virginia meets his little sister, Lyra, and learns that she's being groomed for abuse by the same monster who abused Virginia at that age. Can Virginia find a way to protect Lyra. Is she strong enough to finally tell her own story?
The first half of this book jumped between scenes and dreams haphazardly and there was never any real description of the characters: who they were, what they looked like, or how they related to the mc. Just about everything had to be inferred and that was tough. Added to that was the self-destructive behavior of the mc and her obvious pain and disassociation from life. This made the book hard to read. However, after I hit about 55%, it all just clicked and I didn't want to put it down. I don't have personal experience with sexual abuse/trauma, but from what I've read about it, it seems like the writing style in the first half of the book was a conscious choice on the author's part to help the reader understand/experience a little of Virginia's state of mind. Her self-destructive choices seem to be typical of victims of SA.
Although the book was difficult to read, it ended on a hopeful note, which I definitely appreciated! Everything wasn't tied up in a fancy bow, but it was hopeful.
Although there needs to be definite trigger warnings for sexual assault, sexual abuse, and suicidal ideation, I give this book 4 solid stars and recommend it to anyone struggling to understand these issues or to help someone struggling with these issues.
Disclaimer: I received a free electronic copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
As the two of them grow closer, Virginia meets his little sister, Lyra, and learns that she's being groomed for abuse by the same monster who abused Virginia at that age. Can Virginia find a way to protect Lyra. Is she strong enough to finally tell her own story?
The first half of this book jumped between scenes and dreams haphazardly and there was never any real description of the characters: who they were, what they looked like, or how they related to the mc. Just about everything had to be inferred and that was tough. Added to that was the self-destructive behavior of the mc and her obvious pain and disassociation from life. This made the book hard to read. However, after I hit about 55%, it all just clicked and I didn't want to put it down. I don't have personal experience with sexual abuse/trauma, but from what I've read about it, it seems like the writing style in the first half of the book was a conscious choice on the author's part to help the reader understand/experience a little of Virginia's state of mind. Her self-destructive choices seem to be typical of victims of SA.
Although the book was difficult to read, it ended on a hopeful note, which I definitely appreciated! Everything wasn't tied up in a fancy bow, but it was hopeful.
Although there needs to be definite trigger warnings for sexual assault, sexual abuse, and suicidal ideation, I give this book 4 solid stars and recommend it to anyone struggling to understand these issues or to help someone struggling with these issues.
Disclaimer: I received a free electronic copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
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