Jump to ratings and reviews
Rate this book

Koslov Universe

A Mere Formality

Rate this book
The leader of the fierce Reigh people expires during an intergalactic summit, putting 30 million colonists’ lives and livelihoods in jeopardy. When the new heir to the Reigh throne, Lord Nagrad, demands restitution, the phrase “‘a life for a life” turns the intergalactic calamity into an arranged marriage contract between Lord Nagrad and sharply intelligent diplomatic analyst Deirdre Lebed… and the negotiation of terms becomes anything but formal!

Warning: this story is one big dirty joke. There is no actual sex, but there is a lot discussion about it. It was written on a dare. Someone told us that we couldn’t write a short story around one particular phrase, and we did. So I recommend this for people 18+. Because you know, we wouldn’t want to corrupt your minors.

26 pages, ebook

First published January 1, 2008

Loading interface...
Loading interface...

About the author

Ilona Andrews

139 books31.1k followers
Ilona Andrews is the pseudonym for a husband-and-wife writing team. Ilona is a native-born Russian and Gordon is a former communications sergeant in the U.S. Army. Contrary to popular belief, Gordon was never an intelligence officer with a license to kill, and Ilona was never the mysterious Russian spy who seduced him. They met in college, in English Composition 101, where Ilona got a better grade. (Gordon is still sore about that.)

Gordon and Ilona currently reside in Oregon with their two children, three dogs and a cat. They have co-authored two series, the bestselling urban fantasy of Kate Daniels and romantic urban fantasy of The Edge.

Ratings & Reviews

What do you think?
Rate this book

Friends & Following

Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!

Community Reviews

5 stars
967 (27%)
4 stars
1,298 (36%)
3 stars
1,014 (28%)
2 stars
240 (6%)
1 star
45 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 301 reviews
Profile Image for Anne.
4,253 reviews70k followers
November 29, 2021
A Mere Formality can be downloaded HERE as a freebie from Andrews' website. <--kinda awesome of them, no?

Alright. This is (as the blurb plainly states) a shorty written on a dare and given away for free.
SO.
It's not exactly a masterpiece of romance.

description

Also. This isn't remotely smutty. There's talk of smutty things in a very vanilla butt plug sort of way, but there's NO sex.
No sex?!

description

Sorry.
But Ilona Andrews managed to write a novella on a dare and make it silly/cute/quirky enough to hold my attention with this thing.

description

If you're a fan of team Andrews, go for it.
November 14, 2021
And the moral of this rereread is: one day smut will save the world. And that, my Little Decapods, is a scientifically proven fact.



So glad you agree with me on that one, Charlie dear.

· Book 1: Silent Blade ★★★★
· Book 2: Silver Shark ★★★★
· Book 4: Fated Blades - to be released Nov. 23, 2021



[March 2018]

💀 Ange if You Don't Read this Thing Right Now I'm Unfriending You and Stuff but Hey No Pressure Buddy Read (AiYDRtTRNIUYaSbHNPBR™) with, um, you know, Ange and stuff 💀

And the moral of this reread is: how does one ensure peace in the galaxy? By reading smut, obviously. Please contact the Mostest Awesomest Authorlords for details. Or read this story. Yeah, pretty sure that would work, too.



Also: I want to read a full-length novel set in this world.

Also, also:





[Original review from back in the days when I was naught but a measly breeder of anemic barnacles]

This is such a fun, entertaining story. Granted, I’m a bit partial to the Andrews and their Kate Daniels series is my favorite series ever. I love the worlds they create, their fantastic casts of characters, the plots, the humor… I just basically love their writing.

I like science-fiction but have never been into the whole space thing, didn’t know what to expect from this story and wasn’t sure I would like it. Still, the blurb won me over. A big dirty joke? Someone challenging the Andrews to write a short story around a particular phrase? Recommended to people 18+? How could I resist for even a second?

It turns out the space setting of the story isn’t overwhelming at all and I was actually impressed that the Andrews seem to feel as much at home with science-fiction as they are with urban fantasy. Great writing once again, cool characters, lots of humor, wit and sarcasm, and fun little plot twists. And the world-building! The Andrews really amaze me. How can they even manage to create such a complex world in so few pages?! I won’t go into the actual story here as it is very short and it would be hard not to reveal anything about the plot. Suffice it to say, I just loved the negotiations and the very inventive use of smut they involved. So hilarious, only the Andrews could come up with something like this! There is no actual sex here but a lot of discussion about it and definitely some adult content. And it was SO MUCH FUN, I just love the way the Andrews handled it.

The characters in this story have so much potential I would just love to read more about them in a full-length book. Unfortunately, I don’t think it will happen any time soon but a girl can hope:)

A great read!
Profile Image for Tadiana ✩Night Owl☽.
1,880 reviews23k followers
May 8, 2018
Humorous (and R-rated) science fiction short story from the Ilona Andrews team, free online here on their website. It's very different from their usual fare, a space opera tale with (as usual) a romance subplot, mixed with (not so usual) lots of rather clinical discussions about ... the act of sex. Because of reasons. If that strikes you as something you might think is funny, you might give this a try.

The story itself is a little weak, about a conflict between various space factions and the need to get one particular race of highly trained military warriors on the side of humanity. The more I thought about the plot, the more holes I could see in it. And the romance is of the blink-and-you'll-miss-it type. But there are some nice touches and details to the story (I really like the older duke character), along with a few heartwarming moments. Which makes for a bit of an odd combination with the clinical discussions of sexual positions and other smuttiness, but it is what it is.

The Andrews team comment on their website that this story was written as kind of a (dirty) joke, in response to a challenge to wrap a story around a particular phrase. Anne suggested in our chat in her thread that this is the title phrase. I think she's right. :)
Profile Image for Cathy.
1,740 reviews268 followers
December 10, 2021
Finished this last night. It was funny and well plotted for such a short story. Tone and setting with aliens and political intrigue and warfare reminded me of the later Innkeeper novels. The mature bits were entertaining. But, to be honest, this is not a memorable story. Just one day later I struggle to remember the ending…

+*+*+
Review from 2015:

How could I have missed this freebie on Ilona Andrews' homepage?

"Things of a sexual nature...", oh my, lol.... That was pretty funny. And a lot of excellent world-building for such a short snippet. Can I have that as a novel, please? With smut?
Profile Image for Irene.
838 reviews106 followers
January 28, 2019
The duo-writers extraordinaire, did it again. In only 26 pages delivered a whole story, start-middle-end. This short story has the perfect amount of world building, character development and a driving plot. But most of all, it has SMUT...



Profile Image for MrsJoseph *grouchy*.
1,010 reviews83 followers
May 12, 2015
http://bookslifewine.com/r-a-mere-for...



LOLOLOLOL!

Oh. My. GOD.

I wish yall could see the goofy look on my (very bright red) face right now!

When Ilona Andrews said that this book was a long dirty joke, she wasn't lying. O_O

There's no way to really explain it without killing it but this was HILARIOUS. And DIRTY. And it took me more time than it should have to read it. I had to keep stopping because I was turning beet red. O_O And it all started with


"And," the Reigh Lord permitted himself a small smile. "Our traditions are rather binding. There are certain things a man could ask of foreign woman that would be considered unclean by the women of the Reigh."

"What kind of things?"

"Things of sexual nature. Do you consider yourself open-minded in those matters, Lady Deirdre? Would you do all those things at my request?"

If he was willing to walk down the road, it was perfectly fine with her. With Reigh being as rigid as they were, it was likely he'd bail first. Deirdre arched her eyebrows. "Very few women within the Empire do all things, Lord Nagrad. I cannot confirm what I may or may not do without knowing what you have in mind. Would you be more specific?"

She smiled and waited for him to back off.

"Would you suck my cock?" he asked.

She stared at him for a long moment, trying to make sure she didn't mishear. Behind her someone made a strangled noise.
The Reigh Lord waited for her answer. His face was perfectly solemn.

"Well." She cleared her throat, desperately hoping she didn't blush. "I suppose that could be... hrhm arranged under certain circumstances. Is there any... other requests you would like to make?"


You could have stuck a fork in me right then! I was DONE. lololol


LOVE.
Profile Image for Milda Page Runner.
304 reviews263 followers
September 12, 2015
LOL
All that world-building for a dirty joke! Reminded me a bit of Fifth Element. It would be interesting to read some more set in the same world.

3.5 stars rounded up to 4, well... because it's I. Andrews! :)
Profile Image for Angela (Angel's Book Nook).
1,630 reviews913 followers
August 23, 2020
**Note: Listened as part of The Kinsmen Universe bundle.

I’m a HUGE fan of the Andrews team and I’ve been doing a re-read of their works. I’ve actually never read or listened to the Kinsmen series until now.

A Mere Formality is a short story written on a dare and given away for free. It’s a silly and quirky story. It’s got no sex, but lots of dirty talk of smutty things in a very vanilla way. Those parts made me laugh. The plot is weak and the romance doesn’t really come through. There are some nice details and I liked smutty talk moments, but I’d have liked more for this story.

You can read it for free here or read it in the bundle.

Rated: 3 Stars

Audio: Samantha Cook narrates The Kinsmen Universe. It took me a bit to get into the narration, but when I did, I liked. The author changes up her voices well for each character and story.

angelsgp-seethisreview-blure
Profile Image for Sarah.
3,343 reviews1,235 followers
March 1, 2022
1st read - October 2014
2nd read - March 2018
3rd read - July 2021
4th read - October 2021

It's no secret that I'm a bit of a fangirl when it comes to Ilona and Gordon Andrews and I absolutely adore their Kate Daniels series. All of their stories are full of humour, fantastic world building and great characters and even though A Mere Formality is only a short story (with 26 pages) it's no exception.

This story is completely stand alone so you don't need to have read any of the author's previous books to enjoy it and it's available to download for free from their website here: http://www.ilona-andrews.com/book/a-m...

I'm deliberately keeping this review very vague because it would be too easy to give you spoilers but it's basically a story about three alien species who are negotiating a peace treaty. You can expect lots of innuendos, jokes and dirty talk so it's recommended for adults only but there isn't any actual sex.

For a quick read this is a lot of fun and I'd definitely recommend it.
Profile Image for Holly.
1,469 reviews1,348 followers
April 16, 2018
Hey look, it's a free short story by my favorite authors that I just discovered (thanks Jilly)! This definitely has a bit of an Innkeeper feel to it, and I loved it. I swear there is more writing talent in the tip of their pinky finger than there is in all the other authors who write in this genre combined. Ilona Andrews can do no wrong in my eyes.
Profile Image for Nicole.
793 reviews2,280 followers
Read
August 28, 2019
I'm not rating this novella because it would be unfair. I wanted to give it 1 star (was reading it as a part of the kinsmen universe) then I read the description now. Since this was written because of a dare, I can't blame them for the quickness but I felt like I skipped a few pages, something was off . Honestly, this story would've made a good book if developed right.
Profile Image for Marsha.
2,979 reviews50 followers
March 22, 2014
In an effort of full disclosure, let me first say that I am a huge fan of Ilona Andrews. I truly love the world building, characters, plots and humor of this husband and wife writing dynamo. " A Mere Formality" is another example of an incredible read by this pair. Usually, I do not care for intergalactic space stories. However, once again Ilona Andrews proves that good writing can make a believer out of anyone.

Deidre is a researcher and officer for the Second Intergalactic Empire. Sir Robert Sarvini is the Ambassador to the Reigh, an exceptional warrior race known for their exceptional fighting skills. Robert is also Deidre's employer. After attending a banquet hosted by Empire, Lord Nagrad, Ruler of the Reigh dies from an allergic reaction to redfish caviar. His son and new ruler, Lord Nagrad demands a huge monetary compensation for the afront not to mention a wife. Sir Robert is sure there is more to this fiasco than meets the eye and he is right.

Lord Nagrad requests a meeting with the selected wife of his choice and Deidre is shocked to discover that it is her. He keeps her off guard with a series of sexual questions and as disheartening as this is, Deidre is determined to find out a solution to this problem. Upon doing additional research, Deidre comes to realize that by agreeing to this marriage she will ensure protection in the form of assistance from the Reigh that her people desperately need. However, is she willing to do this? Not without some serious negotiations.

This short story is wonderfully written, full of surprises and humor. One of my favorite quotes is : "You have no ambition. In the next life, you'll be reborn as a tea kettle." Do not hesitate go to Ilona Andrews website and read this story. You will love it!
Profile Image for Cheesecake.
2,797 reviews443 followers
April 30, 2018
What a fantastic little story of big proportions!
Complex. Romantic. Hillarious. Intriguing.
I enjoyed it non-stop!

For a short story this was excellent!

(p.s. I wonder which phrase it was, in the story, that the author's had been dared to write a story around... there were so many, lol!)
Profile Image for Jess.
402 reviews21 followers
December 30, 2018
Amusing and quirky short story about.. well, sex - this was written on a dare and is available for free on the author's webpage, so don't expect any great literary masterpiece. THAT BEING SAID, I always marvel at the amount of worldbuilding Ilona Andrews always manage to pack into the tiniest slivers of a story and this one poses no exception. This is more Innkeeper than Hidden Legacy and it kinda makes me wish for a full-length sci-fi romance novel from the authors.

And yeah, I read this on my quest to read everything by IA and (more pressingly) to hit my reading challenge target of 2018. :D
Profile Image for Maria Dimitrova.
745 reviews146 followers
August 27, 2017
I loved this. But that's no surprise since anything by IA is great. It's short, fun and a little naughty. And it made me wonder what a full length novel set in this world would be like.
Profile Image for Melindeeloo.
3,157 reviews161 followers
September 21, 2018
2nd read 6/16/12:
I rediscovered this freebie short which is available now in several ebook formats from the Andrews' website, and I enjoyed it every bit as much as I did when I read it before in its online only incarnation.

In this scifi story, Deidre is a cultural analyst working for a diplomat on the cusp of an important treaty when the lord of a military race, the Reigh, dies during a diplomatic banquet and the responsibility is laid on the hosts (the faction represented by Diedre's boss) His heir asks for compensation for the wrongful death in the form of a bride and a large dowry - and Deidre is the bride that he wants.

I loved Deidre, she is smart and connects the dots from limited information to get to the truth behind the death and the reason that the new leader of the Reigh desires the marriage. I also really enjoyed how Deidre, who is caught initially off balance in the meeting with her groom to be, manages to out maneuver him in the end. And even though there wasn't as much of Deidre and the Reigh lord together as I'd have liked (I am always greedy for more of Andrews'stories), there was still enough of a promise of a HEA to make my inner romance reader happy.



3rd read 4/26/13 and 4th read 4/16/14 - I am really not a re-reader, but flipping through my kindle I saw this and just had to read it again, this is a really short story, but every time I read it I remember how much I fan-girl-love the Andrews. They awesomely draw the world and solidly establish the characters even in this short space and toss in a bit to make me smile along the way.
Profile Image for Jess.
3,148 reviews5 followers
October 24, 2021
Okay, so, I did not read the summary before I read this and so didn't realize it was a joke short story. And it IS funny and I was super into it, but I NEEDED MORE, I know I sound like a broken record here.

Cannot believe I never read these before, cannot wait for Fated Blades.
Profile Image for Thenia.
4,084 reviews177 followers
December 1, 2021
A Mere Formality on Books On Track


A short story in the world of Kinsmen, where negotiations for an arranged marriage that would solve a diplomatic crisis take a strange turn for Deirdre, a competent diplomatic analyst, and her new fiance and the heir to the Reigh throne, Lord Nagrad.


Previous books:
Silver Shark (Kinsmen, #2) ~ ★★★★★ (09/08/2014, 01/12/2021)
Silent Blade (Kinsmen, #1) ~ ★★★★ (03/03/2014, 01/12/2021)
Profile Image for Laura.
Author 12 books600 followers
May 18, 2023
This was a fun little story.

It begins with 3 alien species negotiating for peace. There is a death, and the entire room erupts in chaos.

Just as they are trying to salvage the peace talks, the injured party sends their demands over. Money. An exorbitant amount. And... Dierdre.

Dierdre is just an analyst, she has no idea why the leader wants her, but she's willing to find out.

This was a fun and sweet story with Ilona Andrews' sense of humor woven throughout. I really enjoyed it, and I'd love to see more set in this world.
Profile Image for Shanna Matheo.
365 reviews37 followers
February 10, 2019
How I wish, wish, wiiiissshhhhhh we could get more and ideally full length books in this series! I love this world. So intriguing, so many possibilities.
Profile Image for anjuli.
405 reviews20 followers
October 10, 2018
This was hilarious in a way. It is a very short read and it is free on their site. It does have a mild adult content. There is no nudity or sex scene. However, there is some smut talking. Otherwise, it is a cute and funny romance! I was trying really hard not to laugh loud at work. I do recommend reading it for just that.
Profile Image for Jujubee.
905 reviews55 followers
May 17, 2018
Bloody brilliant, clever and oh so satisfying short.
How does IA weave a tale so tight and intriguing that I want to lanquish in their far-off worlds?
It's magic, of course.
One day I hope they'll return to see how Deidre and Lord Nagrad have faired ;)
Profile Image for Moon .
3,332 reviews230 followers
November 22, 2020
This story is hilarious and wonderful. The only thing that might make it better was if we actually got to see and experience the wedding night with them.
Profile Image for Desi.
554 reviews104 followers
November 7, 2018
Dramatic and a mite histrionic in pace and set up. Interesting for the Andrews' completionist types.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 301 reviews

Join the discussion

Can't find what you're looking for?

Get help and learn more about the design.