You can set boundaries at work without sacrificing your job.
Do you continue to take on any extra work your manager throws at you even when you’re at your breaking point? When your workload exceeds your capacity, it can lead to anxiety, stress and even burnout. In fact, burnout from workplace stress is at an all-time high, with 42% of the workforce reporting it, according to the latest Future Forum Pulse report. One group especially susceptible to burnout is women.
Women burn out faster than men because they are more likely to be responsible for the household and caregiving duties (in addition to holding down full-time jobs). In a revealing study by the Pew Research Center, even women who are the breadwinners engage in more unpaid labor like housework and childcare. When you combine carrying a heavier burden at home with a lack of boundaries at work, it’s easy to understand why many women struggle to keep their heads above water.
Fortunately, you don’t need to accept every work request to maintain job security. By following these tips, you’ll soon turn “yes” into a confident “no” without risking your career.
Shift Your Mindset
The first step in creating boundaries is to shift your mindset. Setting boundaries isn't selfish. It's a necessity. Instead of giving your power away to your boss, take it back by setting healthy limits. Boundaries are imperative because they create safety, protect your well-being, promote healthy relationships and enhance your self-esteem. Without them, you may feel exhausted and resentful. To live without boundaries is to live without the respect you deserve. Once you acknowledge your right to express your needs directly, you are ready to take the next step.
Define Your Priorities
Before setting boundaries at work, define your values and priorities. Ask yourself whether they have shifted over time. For example, you might have gone from being child-free to raising twins in the span of a year. Or perhaps you find yourself caring for an aging parent. Another priority might be your own well-being. Have you been battling insomnia and headaches due to the stress associated with your job? If a lack of boundaries at work is causing severe health issues, it’s time to make immediate changes.
Determine Your Limits
Once you define your values and priorities, it’s time to set your limits. To start, label your boundaries as hard or soft. Hard boundaries are the ones you refuse to compromise on. Soft boundaries are flexible. They are considered "nice to have" versus must-haves. For example, if you need to spend evenings with your kids, you may prefer not to check email after 6 pm. If an urgent work matter arises, this might be considered a soft boundary. Or suppose that your mother needs you to drive her to the doctor every Monday and Wednesday. That means you will need the flexibility to adjust your schedule or work from home those days. Because you consider this responsibility non-negotiable, it may be a hard boundary for you.
Communicate And Be Consistent
Boundaries at work should be communicated clearly, confidently and often. Don’t just explain what your boundaries are but also why you need them. Be honest so that your manager and colleagues understand your perspective. Also, define your terms. For instance, if you don't want to be contacted on vacation unless it's urgent, outline what constitutes an emergency. Finally, your boundaries will inevitably get violated at some point. When that happens, address it immediately. Speak up and tell the person what the issue is and how you want to proceed. While it might initially feel uncomfortable, it’s better to reinforce your boundaries at the moment rather than wait.
Practice Saying No
If you feel uncomfortable saying no, that's okay. Sometimes, it just takes practice. Start by testing out your "no" muscle in less intense situations. Some examples include saying no to the street vendor trying to sell you something or letting your friend know you won’t be able to make it to her party. You can even come up with scenarios and practice at home. Here are just a few examples of appropriate ways to say no in a work setting (without using the word “no”):
- “I would love to join you at the conference, but that week is my daughter’s birthday and I can’t miss it.”
- “Unfortunately, I’m booked on those days. Could you send me some alternative time slots to schedule a meeting?”
- “Thank you for thinking of me but my manager asked me to prioritize two other projects before I take on anything new.”
Setting boundaries at work is essential to long-term well-being and career success. When you ignore them, you give away your power. But when you reinforce them, you teach others how to treat you.
