Dildos are the most versatile sex toys. Unlike a vibrator, a dildo doesn’t move on its own or vibrate, so you get to control the speed and movements entirely yourself. One of the wonders of dildos, is that they come in shapes and sizes no human does - so they can bring a whole new dimension to your sex life (literally).
Annabelle Knight, Lovehoney's sex and relationship expert explains how to use a dildo, and how to get the most out of your toy.
Dildo guide: How to use a dildo
Even if you’re planning on using a dildo with a partner, it is a good idea to check it out by yourself first. You’ll feel less self-conscious, and you can really concentrate on how it feels for you without being distracted by a partner.
1. Make sure you’re relaxed
Before you use your dildo for the first time, turn yourself on however you would normally (whether that's with some ethical queer porn, or free erotic fiction). It's super important to get 'in the mood' because if you're feeling awkward or distracted, it only makes penetration more difficult - and less enjoyable.
2. Use lots of lube
You are always going to need lubricant for any kind of sex toy penetration, and this is particularly true of dildos. Water-based lubricants are good for almost everyone in every situation.
Silicone-based lubricants are longer lasting, and best for anal penetration as the anus doesn't naturally lubricate like the vagina does. However, if the dildo you're using is made of silicone, silicone-based lubricant can damage the toy - so you should use water-based lube.
Be sure to put lubricant on the toy before you use it. And, if you are using the dildo for anal penetration, beware that you’ll probably need to replenish the lube at some point.
3. Start slowly
Before inserting the dildo, see what it feels like when you rub it on the outside of your body. Use it to massage and stimulate external genitalia such as the vulva, labia or anus. You’re essentially teasing yourself here, while building up to the penetration. Once you begin to penetrate yourself with the dildo, start slowly moving it in and out, and react and adapt to how it feels.
4. Build a rhythm
Once you are comfortable using the dildo, you can experiment with different rhythms and speeds. Feel the difference between a slow and steady movement, and a fast and erratic movement. See exactly what works for you, and then pass this info on to your partner.
5. Explore with depth and angles
Deep penetration can be pleasurable or painful. If you have a long toy, it is possible to reach your cervix with the end, though this can make it sore. If you feel pain, stop what you are doing, and start slowly again after a break.
You can adjust the length of the dildo by holding it by the shaft, rather than at the base. Experimenting with different angles of insertion can help you stimulate your G-spot, too. And, some dildos are specially curved to find your G-spot for you!
6. Take it to the next level
Combine using a dildo with a bullet, rabbit or wand vibrator to take your stimulation to the next level. And if it's tricky to do, you can always ask a partner to give you a helping hand. Simultaneous penetration and clitoral stimulation can be super enjoyable, and may lead to an intense blended orgasm.
How to use a dildo with a partner
It's also fun to use a dildo with a partner. They can either use it to penetrate you, or you can go for a harness/strap-on kit:
If you're using it to anally penetrate a penis-having partner, read our guide to pegging first:
Dildo guide: Choosing the right dildo for you
Dildos only do what you make them do, so picking the right one is essential. Get something too big and it is simply not going to work.
If you're not sure about what size you want, think about the other things you’ve used for penetration (fingers, penises, vibrators etc) and pick a dildo you know is a good fit.
Anal vs vaginal dildos
Most dildos can be used for vaginal penetration, but only some are safe for anal penetration. Those safe for anal will have a flared based to prevent them from slipping up into the rectum. You shouldn’t use the same dildo in the vagina and the anus, unless you are using a condom and changing it between), or thoroughly cleaning the dildo between uses with sex toy cleaner.
Again, remember not to use silicone lube with silicone toys!
