'As gawping drivers see me being breathalysed, the shame is all too real'

But from the policeman telling me sternly to turn off my engine and get out of my vehicle, the people gawping at me from their cars as they drive past and my redfaced sense of shame - it all feels very real.

This Christmas many people will be tempted to get into their cars and drive home after drinking at office parties and nights out. Maybe they'll feel perfectly sober and maybe they'll get home safe but some won't.

Already this year there have been 98 deaths on Northern Ireland's roads, 19 of which involved alcohol. That's 19 lives lost because some drivers still think it's alright to get behind a wheel after having a drink.

I'm stopped just outside Downpatrick on a weekday morning after committing a driving offence (pulling out in front of another vehicle). The police have a right to stop drivers for driving erratically, if there's something wrong with the car such as an out-of-date tax disc or broken light or if they've committed a traffic offence like pulling out without signalling. Once stopped, if they suspect drink has been taken, it's the breathalyser.

Although the policemen I speak to have tales of people asleep in lay-bys and drivers three times over the limit, more often there are stories of people who have a little bit more to drink than they mean to, or people driving the morning after a big night out or people chancing a short drive home from the pub.

"There's no one 'type' of people that are caught drink driving and there's no time of day when it's more likely," says Sergeant Lawrence Speer from Roads Policing. "It's something that happens across the board ". My breathalyser test flashes up a red FAIL, my car is locked and Sergeant Speer escorts me into the back to the marked police car.

As I travel to the nearest available police station (which turns out to be Newtownabbey as all custodial suites are taken in Downpatrick) the long journey gives me plenty of time to think about what impact a drink driving offence would have on my life.

No licence means no way of getting to work and having no transport would seriously hinder my ability to do my job. I would be reliant on public transport, which, to where I live in the countryside would be expensive and erratic, and I could kiss my social life goodbye - although I was rapidly losing the taste for drinking. Worse would be the reaction of my family and employers when they found out.

"Quite often we have people blaming us for ruining their lives," says Constable Victor Molyneaux, driving me to the station. "They don't see that they are their own architect of what's happened."

As it goes I'm a well-behaved prisoner. But that's with the luxury of knowing none of this is real. If the tables were turned I've no doubt I would join in the ranks of people who sit in the back of the car crying, begging for the matter to be sorted out some other way, apologising and swearing it would never happen again. None of which would do me any good.

"Once you're caught there is no way back," explains Constable Molyneaux. "For us, it's more difficult when people are genuinely upset but there's nothing we can do."

Of course, people still try and beat the system. Constable Molyneaux tells me about people putting pennies in their mouths as they believe it will absorb the alcohol or chewing gum or drinking from water bottles and then claiming it was spiked with alcohol by police officers. People try and claim they weren't driving, that they've only had the one or they refuse to take the roadside breath test.

But even this is only delaying the inevitable. If police officers suspect a driver to be driving under the influence then he or she is legally obliged to give a sample, if not at the roadside then in the police station.

Refusal to do so is a criminal offence and will result in disqualification, a hefty fine and penalty points. There really is no way to win.

And no matter how drunk I was, I'm sure finding myself in a small, clinical looking room with three police officers and a highly sensitive machine guaranteed to register any alcohol in my system, would definitely sober me up. It's not the results from the roadside breathalyser that are used in court, but the two samples taken by the Lion Intoxilyser in the police station, the lower reading of which is then used in court. I can ask for a solicitor to be there but it's not a request that will delay the test. Even if a staff sergeant isn't available to operate the Intoxilyser, a doctor will be called to take blood or urine sample.

There's nothing physically unpleasant about blowing into the warmed tube of the Intoxilyser but it is tense waiting for the results and I have a horrible feeling of being trapped in an unalterable course of events when all I really want is to be far, far away. I have no one in the room to support me and (without having done anything wrong) I still find the procedure sickening, thinking of what it would be like if it was for real.

My results come back clear, the machine registers no alcohol in my system and I'm free to go. If I'd been over the limit then I would have been bailed to go until my court case when it would have been up to a magistrate to disqualify me, issue penalty points and decide how much I'm fined or whether I should face a custodial sentence.

Of course, the shame of being caught shouldn't be the main deterrent for drink driving. The police officers I speak to have first hand accounts of the carnage and lives ruined by drink driving with one recalling the case of a drunk driver who collided with a 19-year-old girl leaving her paralysed. The adverts we see on TV may be graphic but for some families, the incidents they portray are all too real.

Any amount of alcohol really is too much and if you're stopped for drink driving then it's lucky if you only ruin your own Christmas. The legal limit is essentially meaningless because while one person may be able to drink a pint, have their liver process the alcohol quickly and be fine to drive, another person may not and that's irrespective of gender, age, health, height or weight. The safest amount really is none. I realised this when I was sat in the back of a police car. Hopefully it won't take being in the same position for other drivers to come to the same conclusion.