Overview
Don’t Let Anger Control You!
If you or someone you love is experiencing difficulty coping with their anger, this useful and practical book is the first place to turn to for help. With its clear, evenhanded approach, this book shows you
•Why you handle anger the way you do
•Positive ways to manage anger
•How to speak up strongly and effectively
•Effective ways to handle frustration and resolve conflicts
•How to set limits and say no to unreasonable demands
•Practical ways to cope with stress, embarrassment, and shame
•How to relate your feelings to others without losing your cool
Whether you have an explosive temper or are brooding over suppressed anger, the questionnaires, step-by-step exercises, and strategies outlined in Anger: Taming the Beast will teach you how to change the way you experience and express anger.
Product Details
| BN ID: | 2940153093567 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | Reneau Peurifoy |
| Publication date: | 06/23/2016 |
| Sold by: | Smashwords |
| Format: | eBook |
| File size: | 507 KB |
About the Author
Reneau Peurifoy holds a master’s degree in counseling and attended Fuller Theological Seminary. He is the author of several books including Anger: Taming the Beast, Anxiety, Phobias, and Panic: Taking Charge and Conquering Fear, and Overcoming Anxiety: From Short-Term Fixes to LongTerm Recovery. Peurifoy is a frequent guest speaker for organizations including the Anxiety Disorders Association of America (ADAA), the nation’s primary organization for anxiety-related problems.
Peurifoy was in private practice for twenty years as a marriage and family therapist specializing in anxiety disorders. He retired from private practice in 2000 and is currently teaching at Heald College in Sacramento, California.
Table of Contents
| Author's Note | ix | |
| Preface | xi | |
| Acknowledgments | xiii | |
| 1 | Where Does the Beast Come From? | |
| Is There a Positive Side to Anger? | 2 | |
| What Is Anger? | 3 | |
| How to Get the Most Out of This Book | 4 | |
| Summary of Key Ideas | 5 | |
| Recommended Activities | 5 | |
| 2 | Facing the Beast | |
| Appropriate vs. Inappropriate Anger | 11 | |
| Two Roadblocks to Change | 12 | |
| Abusive Behavior | 13 | |
| Time-Out | 15 | |
| Summary of Key Ideas | 18 | |
| Recommended Activities | 19 | |
| 3 | The Nature of the Beast | |
| What Are Emotions? | 26 | |
| Three Common Myths about Anger | 29 | |
| How Anger Is Expressed | 31 | |
| Learn to Recognize the Different Forms of Anger | 32 | |
| Summary of Key Ideas | 34 | |
| Recommended Activities | 35 | |
| 4 | Thoughts That Awaken the Beast | |
| Six Common Types of Distorted Thinking | 39 | |
| A Three-Step Approach to Reducing Distorted Thinking | 46 | |
| Summary of Key Ideas | 49 | |
| Recommended Activities | 50 | |
| 5 | Stress and the Beast | |
| What Is Stress? | 57 | |
| Your Body Is a Machine with a Limited Amount of Energy | 58 | |
| Decompression Routines | 59 | |
| Managing Times of Excessive Stress | 60 | |
| Summary of Key Ideas | 65 | |
| Recommended Activities | 66 | |
| 6 | Additional Thoughts That Awaken the Beast | |
| Who's to Blame? | 68 | |
| Four Common Erroneous Assumptions That Trigger Anger | 71 | |
| Mind Reading | 74 | |
| Summary of Key Ideas | 75 | |
| Recommended Activities | 75 | |
| 7 | How the Beast Is Shaped During Childhood | |
| Creating a Record of Your Childhood | 85 | |
| The Time Tunnel | 93 | |
| Core Beliefs | 94 | |
| Summary of Key Ideas | 97 | |
| Recommended Activities | 97 | |
| 8 | When the Beast Is a Ghost from the Past | |
| Cultural Stereotypes | 103 | |
| The Legacy of a Dysfunctional Family | 105 | |
| The "What's Happening? What's Real?" Technique | 110 | |
| Summary of Key Ideas | 111 | |
| Recommended Activities | 112 | |
| 9 | The Beast as Defender | |
| The Motivational Side of Anger | 121 | |
| Anger as a Psychological Defense Mechanism | 123 | |
| The Price of Using Anger as a Defense | 126 | |
| Learning to Experience All Your Emotions | 128 | |
| Behavior as Coded Messages | 132 | |
| Summary of Key Ideas | 135 | |
| Recommended Activities | 136 | |
| 10 | Learning New Ways to Resolve Conflicts | |
| Three Styles of Conflict Management | 147 | |
| Five General Approaches to Resolving Problems and Conflicts | 149 | |
| Common Erroneous Beliefs about Assertiveness | 151 | |
| Rights and Responsibilities | 153 | |
| Hit-and-Run Situations | 154 | |
| D.E.R. Scripts | 156 | |
| Summary of Key Ideas | 160 | |
| Recommended Activities | 161 | |
| 11 | More on Conflict Resolution | |
| Five Common Forms of Resistance | 164 | |
| The Nonnegotiator | 173 | |
| Becoming an Effective Negotiator | 175 | |
| A Five-Step Approach for Resolving Conflict | 178 | |
| Summary of Key Ideas | 182 | |
| Recommended Activities | 183 | |
| 12 | Embarrassment and Shame | |
| Embarrassment | 185 | |
| Summary Sheets | 188 | |
| Shame | 192 | |
| Adding a Spiritual/Existential Dimension to Your Work | 195 | |
| Summary of Key Ideas | 199 | |
| Recommended Activities | 200 | |
| 13 | Resentment, Envy, and Jealousy | |
| Resentment | 203 | |
| Envy | 209 | |
| Jealousy | 212 | |
| Summary of Key Ideas | 215 | |
| Recommended Activities | 216 | |
| 14 | Managing the Frustrations of Parenting | |
| Children Are Not Miniature Adults | 218 | |
| Most Things Can Wait | 220 | |
| Becoming a Source of Encouragement | 220 | |
| Teachable and Unteachable Times | 225 | |
| Lower Your Action Point | 226 | |
| Natural and Logical Consequences | 227 | |
| Get Out of the "Crime and Punishment" Cycle | 229 | |
| Sidestepping Power Struggles | 230 | |
| Suggestions for Very Young Children | 233 | |
| Summary of Key Ideas | 234 | |
| Recommended Activities | 234 | |
| 15 | Making Peace with Intimacy | |
| Substitutes for Intimacy | 237 | |
| What Is Intimacy Like? | 239 | |
| Eight Qualities That Increase Intimacy | 240 | |
| Four Common Areas of Conflict | 250 | |
| Summary of Key Ideas | 254 | |
| Recommended Activities | 255 | |
| 16 | On Your Own | |
| Three Plans | 262 | |
| A Final Word | 265 | |
| Appendix 1 | Guidelines for Selecting a Therapist | 267 |
| Appendix 2 | Locating a Self-Help Group | 271 |
| Supplemental Material | 275 | |
| Recommended Reading | 277 | |
| Index | 283 |