I read this book in 2 days. Just kinda got sucked in. It’s an easy read and the information is spot on!!! Being years into this high conflict case I am fairly familiar with this dramatic (high conflict blamer personality) act! I only with I had known this information before I began the process. If you are starting your separation or at the end this is a very valuable guide. It would have been helpful to k ow before hand and avoided so much duress and anxiety. Now I am better focused and much more knowledgable about the final steps! And I am so much calmer, organized, focused and ready. Excellent read! I highly recommend to anyone in this kind of situation regardless of the phase you find yourself.
Side note, it’s kind of telling how “textbook”these characters behave!
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From the Publisher
From the Book: A Quick Start Guide
The more prepared you are, the less likely you will be to have a high-conflict divorce. Take a look at these tips for protecting yourself and your children during a difficult or hostile divorce. While they may not fully protect you, the sooner you take action on them, the better off you will be. You can find out even more survival tips by reading Splitting.
From the Book: Does this sound like your partner?
During a divorce, some partners with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) or borderline personality disorder (BPD) may feel justified in treating you in one or more of these extreme ways.
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Reviews with images
The person you married doesn't exist
First off if somebody tells you they have BPD then DO NOT marry them! Heed my advice lol.No matter how good they seem to be at the time, they will change and you will suffer for it. I wish I had read this book a month earlier, especially the part about warning your place of employment. Again, no matter how much you try to get them to communicate like an adult or how many times you try to do the right thing..........it will not matter! You are dealing with somebody who has the mentality of a spoiled petulant teenager and that will not change no matter how accommodating you try to be. This is especially true if the PwBPD has an enabler who is just as or more messed up than they are.Cut these people out of your life ASAP, or else like a cancer the tentacles will spread and continue to make it more difficult to escape. This book does a good job of highlighting their play book and the mentality. Luckily I was aware of most of this and have been documenting and planning for this scenario for upwards of 6 months.Document EVERYTHING and save EVERYTHING!!! They WILL lie about you and having everything in writing makes it easier to counter the world they have made up in their head. They do not do well at all when presented with hard evidence of their lies and deceit.The most important thing you can take away from this review is that the person you are divorcing is in no way shape or form the same person you married. Do not make the mistake of thinking that somewhere deep inside is that person you know and cared for who was rational and logical. They DO NOT exist anymore. Holding onto the notion that they do and trying to be accommodating in the hope they will show up and act like an adult is a fool's errand. Learn from my mistakes and accept that the person you knew has in essence died and is gone forever. Any other thought will only serve to make you suffer further and create even more issues for yourself while doing nothing but benefiting them and their made up world.Cut your losses, get out and learn to enjoy your life and find somebody who will actually love you and care for you for who you are as a person and appreciate the things you do for them to help them in life.
Top reviews from the United States
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Reviewed in the United States on August 27, 2023
Reviewed in the United States on September 11, 2011
Reviewed in the United States on June 21, 2023
First off if somebody tells you they have BPD then DO NOT marry them! Heed my advice lol.
No matter how good they seem to be at the time, they will change and you will suffer for it. I wish I had read this book a month earlier, especially the part about warning your place of employment. Again, no matter how much you try to get them to communicate like an adult or how many times you try to do the right thing..........it will not matter! You are dealing with somebody who has the mentality of a spoiled petulant teenager and that will not change no matter how accommodating you try to be. This is especially true if the PwBPD has an enabler who is just as or more messed up than they are.Cut these people out of your life ASAP, or else like a cancer the tentacles will spread and continue to make it more difficult to escape. This book does a good job of highlighting their play book and the mentality. Luckily I was aware of most of this and have been documenting and planning for this scenario for upwards of 6 months.
Document EVERYTHING and save EVERYTHING!!! They WILL lie about you and having everything in writing makes it easier to counter the world they have made up in their head. They do not do well at all when presented with hard evidence of their lies and deceit.
The most important thing you can take away from this review is that the person you are divorcing is in no way shape or form the same person you married. Do not make the mistake of thinking that somewhere deep inside is that person you know and cared for who was rational and logical. They DO NOT exist anymore. Holding onto the notion that they do and trying to be accommodating in the hope they will show up and act like an adult is a fool's errand. Learn from my mistakes and accept that the person you knew has in essence died and is gone forever. Any other thought will only serve to make you suffer further and create even more issues for yourself while doing nothing but benefiting them and their made up world.
Cut your losses, get out and learn to enjoy your life and find somebody who will actually love you and care for you for who you are as a person and appreciate the things you do for them to help them in life.
No matter how good they seem to be at the time, they will change and you will suffer for it. I wish I had read this book a month earlier, especially the part about warning your place of employment. Again, no matter how much you try to get them to communicate like an adult or how many times you try to do the right thing..........it will not matter! You are dealing with somebody who has the mentality of a spoiled petulant teenager and that will not change no matter how accommodating you try to be. This is especially true if the PwBPD has an enabler who is just as or more messed up than they are.Cut these people out of your life ASAP, or else like a cancer the tentacles will spread and continue to make it more difficult to escape. This book does a good job of highlighting their play book and the mentality. Luckily I was aware of most of this and have been documenting and planning for this scenario for upwards of 6 months.
Document EVERYTHING and save EVERYTHING!!! They WILL lie about you and having everything in writing makes it easier to counter the world they have made up in their head. They do not do well at all when presented with hard evidence of their lies and deceit.
The most important thing you can take away from this review is that the person you are divorcing is in no way shape or form the same person you married. Do not make the mistake of thinking that somewhere deep inside is that person you know and cared for who was rational and logical. They DO NOT exist anymore. Holding onto the notion that they do and trying to be accommodating in the hope they will show up and act like an adult is a fool's errand. Learn from my mistakes and accept that the person you knew has in essence died and is gone forever. Any other thought will only serve to make you suffer further and create even more issues for yourself while doing nothing but benefiting them and their made up world.
Cut your losses, get out and learn to enjoy your life and find somebody who will actually love you and care for you for who you are as a person and appreciate the things you do for them to help them in life.
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Top reviews from other countries
Smaller pics than expected
An excellent book on the topic
Reviewed in Canada on April 19, 2024
Andrea
Worth every penny - a rare gem of a book that offers practical advice you can starting using today
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 12, 2016