It took me far too long to sit down with "The Boy Between: A Mother and Son's Journey From a World Gone Grey," a book co-written by bestselling author Amanda Prowse with her son Josiah Hartley.
I use the word "with" rather casually here because "The Boy Between" feels like anything but a book that has been "co-written" in any traditional sense. If anything, it rather feels like perhaps they've written the book alongside one another with their individual tales irrevocably intertwined as they tell, with remarkable vulnerability, the not so distant story of Josiah's life-threatening experiences with depression and both the impact that had depression on his family and that family's struggle to figure out how to best support the son they loved but couldn't seem to reach.
Josiah, who goes by Josh, grew up in Prowse's single-parent household as she worked to make ends meet while raising the son she adored. Prowse would eventually meet and marry Simeon, their household adding Simeon's son Ben and increasing the financial stability of the household. Josiah attended one of the country's elite schools and was headed toward one of England's finest universities. However, just as this future was unfolding he began struggling with the early stages of depression. It was a serious enough depression that it largely sabotaged his entry into the elite university and he headed for a different setting.
Still, the depression lingered and, in fact, increased in such severity that Josiah would eventually plan and begin acting out on the plan to end his own life. It was only an unexpected visit by his step-father that would interrupt the planned suicide attempt quite literally moments before he was to act on it. This interruption set the stage for a couple of years of ups-and-downs as Josiah and his family tried psychiatry, medications, a change in academic settings and, ultimately, made some changes in Josiah's life that seem to have addressed the world gone grey in which Josiah was living.
"The Boy Between" starts with chapters by both Prowse, whom I should be calling Amanda for consistency, and Josiah. This is how it is organized throughout as the two address each stage of Josiah's depression through the lenses of their own perspectives. It's clear, at times jarringly so, that their perspectives are vastly different and even painfully different. Yet, it's impossible to not admire the honesty contained within their perspectives and their decision to share this journey while realizing that many of these events unfolded only four or so years ago.
This is all still fresh.
Prowse is, rather ironically, known as the "Queen of family drama" in the UK, a recognition of her empathetic and compassionate books. She's really only been writing about 10 years yet she's got right around 45 titles to her credit and around 8 million books sold. She's got a winning presence and is a familiar radio voice. You can feel her painful struggle to connect all the dots here, perhaps most notably during the episode when Josiah truly bottomed out and it was Simeon who was there for Josiah while Prowse was in Australia on book-related activities. You quite literally "feel" her pain at not being present.
You also feel her pain, at times, when she counters the chapters written by Josiah. As much as it's ever so obvious that Josiah loves his mother, it's clear that her frequently emotional affect triggers his defenses and there's clearly times when he'd rather she not be around or the one who deals with him. At times, it feels like her response exacerbates his own emotions. There are a couple points where Prowse really connects with that fact and you can feel her struggle with it.
Ultimately, however, as much as "The Boy Between" is written by both Prowse and Hartley, it is truly a book about Josiah Hartley and he writes from a profoundly honest place that is clearly counter to his usual persona. At times, he seems genuinely surprised he's choosing to be so honest yet he does so in a way that is refreshing and well written. The power of "The Boy Between" may very well be that it shares that you can have all these mixed feelings and intra-familial conflicts and uncertainties and still really, really love each other and remain committed to one another.
There are other little aspects of the book that both intentionally and unintentionally resonate. Simeon should, perhaps, win stepfather of the year, a title he'd likely reject because you can just feel he's simply being a stepfather. He's a remarkable human being and sure seems to be a remarkable husband.
Ben, whose age appears quite similar to that of Josiah, often feels like a bit of an afterthought here. "The Boy Between" never really addresses any of the impact on him, though in this structure it's a beautiful example of how having one child who struggles mightily can cast an overwhelming shadow on the child who does not.
Both Prowse and Hartley also do a wonderful job of examining England's healthcare system and its academic system, at times with quite the critical lens. While Hartley, in particular, is quick to say that he largely encountered good people he's also quick to acknowledge an overwhelmed system looking for quick answers. Hartley appropriately takes to ask the universities, in particular, where suicide has become a notable issue including at Bristol University, the last university he attended.
The closing chapters of "The Boy Between" feel at times a bit rushed, though part of that's the uncertainty of realizing this journey still continues. These chapters arrive rather abruptly and lack the passion and emotional resonance of most of the rest of the book, though in a way this makes sense and it doesn't detract at all from the overall impact of this remarkably honest, emotionally accessible, and always engaging book.
While "The Boy Between" may prove triggering for those with similar experiences, it's a wonderful effort by both Hartley and Prowse and a literary journey that will no doubt help many individuals and families in similar situations.
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Reviews with images
Beautiful, emotional, and heart-warming
I loved everything about “The Boy Between” as it was beautiful, emotional, heart-warming, and an eye-opener.The story grips you from the first page because of the subject manner. Mental illness is a subject that I have always felt is a topic that we do not consider severe compared to other diseases. This book perfectly describes the devastating impact it has on someone and how it impacts the family. Moreover, the authors tell the story from both perspectives that keep it fresh. You can relate to what the mother and the son are individually going through. My heart went out to both Amanda and Josh for everything they went through. The team also paces the plot in a pleasant manner, where you gradually see them going through the various phases.Moreover, both the mother and the son duo write the story in such a personal manner. By the end of the book, you feel like you have known them for years and can feel the pain and hardship they have endured. I appreciated so many details they added, from sources, references of statistics and examples, and their pictures. On a side note, I did not know anything about Ehlers Danlos Syndrome until I read this novel. So, thank you to the team for educating me on the same.You can also consider this as a guide book because they also give you tips and helpful tidbits to motivate yourself to get help and connect with people. Overall, “The Boy Between” is a beautiful tale that shows the struggle of mental illness. I feel it is a book that everyone should read.I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book, which I received from the author. All views expressed are only my honest opinion.
Top reviews from other countries
Kindle CustomerAmisha
A vivid picture of the mind of a depressed person.
Reviewed in India on March 2, 2021Suze Reviews...
Heartbreaking, heartfelt, honest & hopeful
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on November 24, 2020Mr. S. E. Johnson
If you only read one more book in your life, make it this one
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on November 16, 2020
Marilyn Freeman
An incredible insight into what severe depression feels like from the inside out.
Reviewed in Australia on November 25, 2020
