Dear Annie: Last weekend, I had to complete an eight-hour project with a man I’d never met before. It was an incredibly long day -- because this man talked constantly! It was continuous, nonstop talk about anything and everything, from his divorce, to his children, to his health, to his house, etc.
If I had something to say or comment on, he would briefly listen, but then he would get right back into constant chatter. I now know everything about this man that I don’t care to know.
What causes someone to talk nonstop? Don’t they realize that it’s annoying? -- Carrying Earplugs From Now On
Dear Earplugs: There are many possible causes for excessive, nonstop talking, including mental illnesses, brain injury, hearing loss, fear of silence and just plain old self-absorption. Some overtalkers may recognize that it’s irritating but find it difficult to stop. Some might lack self-awareness. In some cases, it can help to confirm that you’ve heard them by repeating a brief summary of it back to them. In others, directness is the only option -- e.g., a simple statement such as “I’d like some time to focus on the work, please,” said with a smile. It might feel awkward for a moment, but it’s better than seething for eight hours.
Dear Annie: Just to add to your advice to “Not a Fan,” who was tired of her husband’s off-key singing around the house. She should join him every chance she gets: Either they will make beautiful music together or he will realize how bad it is. -- Susan D.
Dear Susan: You get points for creativity. Thanks for the laugh.
Stories by Annie Lane
- Dear Annie: How a neighbor’s concern led to finding out my son lost his hearing
- Dear Annie: My mother’s criticism has no end
- Dear Annie: Navigating my wife’s infidelity from 25 years ago
- Dear Annie: How do I confront a close friend who has become distant?
- Dear Annie: How do I begin to make end-of-life arrangements?
Read more Dear Annie and other advice columns.
“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
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