TBT: (A bit of) how’s your father
This week’s Throwback Thursday takes us on another journey into the never ending world of weird and wonderful sayings , this time focusing on a bit of a naughty saying. One that makes the British blush (doesn’t everything?). We look at why we say, or those that do, the saying: How’s Your Father.
(A bit of) How’s Your Father; Idiom, saying, turn of phrase.
Meaning: Sexy time, sexual intercourse or other sexual activity. Normally used in a phrase in Britain similar to: “Fancy a bit of how’s your father?”
Etymology: There are three main schools of thought.
The first theory is that it’s to do with Second World War soldiers soliciting sex from elderly French madames, some of whom may also have been old enough to have shared intimate moments with British soldiers during the First World War too. The inference being that the son is going where the father has already been.
Another idea behind the meaning is the Victorian explanation. This suggests it’s to do with Fathers attempting to preserve their daughter’s modesty by hiding in their voluminous skirts. A suitor, hoping to get close to the object of his affections, would ask “how’s your father?” and if the girl’s skirts were loaded with dad, she’d cast her eyes downwards and say something like “my father is very well, thank you, and defends my honour with every inch of his being!”
Frankly that one seems more than a little far-fetched, unless the Victorians bred a race of super-tall girls, from the loins of very short men with collapseable spines.
Despite some imaginative and frankly ridiculous online claims about authorship, the expression ultimately derives from the fertile imagination of the music-hall comedian Harry Tate, born in 1872 and popular from before the First World War to his death as the result of an air raid in 1940 (although if you listen to a 1912 recording of the famous motoring sketch that he toured for more than thirty years, you might wonder why; truly that was a different age). When he was supposedly stumped for an answer in one of his sketches, he would break off and ask “how’s your father?” as a way to change the subject.
Straight man: “I say! What game do you think you’re playing, knocking at my door in the middle of the night?”
Harry Tate: [flustered] “I… er… that is to say… I… [long pause] how’s your father?”
This caught on among those randy First World War soldiers, and they put it to good use, describing all sorts of unpleasant activities. Which then became codified in peace-time as a slang term for sex. It’s fallen out of use nowadays, but should you ever find yourself having been propositioned by an old soldier, at least you can now be sure exactly what you’re turning down.
Seemingly old and outdated, you’d be surprised to hear that it’s still used:
A Bit of How’s Your Father?, Slap and Tickle and Rumpy Pumpy are favourite ways for the over 40s to refer to sex, according to a survey. While under 40s prefer the distinctly more functional Hump, Get Laid and Get Some Action. No wonder the birth rate’s falling.
Daily Mirror, 11 Feb. 2015. The survey was commissioned by the retailer Holland & Barrett to promote its Horny Goat Weed aphrodisiac pills.
“It belongs with leg over or a bit of the other, in other words a casual sexual encounter, especially in phrases such as a spot of the old how’s-your-father or the irresistible invitation “Awright darlin’, fancy a bit of how’s yer father?”.
The other main sense is less vulgar but equally slangy, meaning nonsense or some unidentifiable object:
“The lights went up revealing the interior of a large van. It was crammed with telescreens, monitoring doodads, hi-tech how’s your fathers and state-of-the-art whatnots.”
They Came and Ate Us, by Robert Rankin, 1991.
Well, what do you know? Do you think we should change our Romance and Erotica Portal to one entitled “How’s Your Father”? Don’t hold your breath. You can, however, be assured that there will be another Throwback Thursday looking at another equally ridiculous saying next week.
Sources
worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-how1.htm
bbcamerica.com/anglophenia/2011/09/frasers-phrases-hows-your-father
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Originally published at blog.theprose.com on April 14, 2016.
