Conquering Demobilizing Fear and Lack of Motivation
In college I heard terrifying tales of people getting “out in the world” and not having the motivation, work ethic, or inspiration to keep creating work. I never really feared this for myself though, because I began showing work early on and continue to do so. I’m not the type of artist who enjoys showing the same work over and over for years. In general, I try to create new work for each exhibition or opportunity. This keeps me on my toes (and always making new work.)
Except when I can’t.
Recently, I moved to a new house. During the last few months before and several weeks after the move I have not made much new work. I’ve thought about it and thought about it, but can’t seem to make myself do it. I have even participated in three events that ought to have spurned fresh work, and thought up two different projects I’d like to start, inspired by the move itself. Despite inspiration being present, I have found myself at a stand-still.
The ideas are still there, but in a sort of purgatory until I find the motivation to do something with them.
I rarely have trouble finding new ideas. Part of my creative, explorative, and analytical brain means that almost anything I see or think about can become a catalyst for a new project…if I let it. When inspiration pops up, the first stage usually doesn’t really resemble what I would call an “idea”. It’s more like a question, or an inkling. It’s something that I have to allow room to expand, by entertaining the thoughts of “what if” and how something relates to something else. Sometimes the spark fizzles at this stage because I don’t have the answer, or can’t quite connect the dots in order to begin the translation process. See, after the spark begins to turn into an actual idea, it has to be translated into something that can relate to another person. Into art.
In the limbo between the first stages of an idea, and the “translation” i.e. execution of that idea, a variety of things can get in the way. Lately, this place of stasis is exactly where I am sitting, and it sucks. I think a large part of what gets me stuck here is fear. Fear in the form of self-doubt, of failure, of not being able to make that translation. Fear that I might start and not finish, or I might figure out that it was a terrible idea to start with.
To be honest, I’m no expert on overcoming lack of motivation! I actually started writing this article in hopes that the answer would work its way out in my writing, a handy trick that I began to use as a result of doing “Morning Pages”. (If you haven’t heard of this or read Julia Cameron’s books, do yourself a favor and check them out!) This practice is useful when faced with a host of problems, especially for creative people. It forces a person to look at their situation and their own feelings and thoughts, to get honest. Maybe that’s all it takes.
Be honest with your fear.
Acknowledge it, then keep working. Take a small step toward your desired goal….do some brainstorming, decide on a time to take a test shot or to coat some paper, or set up a still life. Then SIMPLY START! That can be hard for me. I tend to overthink myself right out of action.
If I really think about it, though, every time I have overcome this kind of lull in my creative work, it’s because I got in the darkroom and just started making stuff. Sometimes even just cleaning or organizing my space gets me moving enough to stop thinking and start doing. It doesn’t take much, even though it can feel like a HUGE effort.
I feel that it’s important to disclose that I suffer from depression and anxiety, as I’m sure many readers do. Often the disappointment in myself for not making art (even when I want to) creates an anxiety-shame-depression cycle that can quickly escalate to self sabotage in the form of giving up! So, it is important for me to stop the cycle in the early stages, before I end up swearing off art and hating myself for being a failure and then hating life and so on. It’s important for me to take pride in small victories, like starting a project, and remember that even if I don’t feel amazing about it, doing something is ALWAYS better than doing nothing.
So there you have it! My recipe for overcoming lack of motivation:
Write/process/GET HONEST about your fears.
START DOING SOMETHING ANYWAY! This can be as little as scheduling a time for another day or cleaning your workspace.
KEEP DOING STUFF! Even if your inner critic is telling you it’s all wrong. Make something and play/experiment until you get into a groove.
The first thing you make after a period of inactivity might not be life changing. But it could.
More importantly, by taking action despite feeling stuck, fearful, and unmotivated, you will be forging a path toward your creative goals and your future as a working artist.
What do you do when you’re not feeling motivated or you’re overwhelmed by anxiety and fears about your work? Leave your tips below in the comments!
