✨Canan Kara✨

“A women’s place is at home”
We had this debatable essay in our English Grammar board exam at school in 10th grade and I remember while most students wrote against the notion ,I had written ‘for’ it.
With the growing trend of ‘women empowerment’, this concept is often defined by women being at par with men in terms of professional opportunities and earning avenues..A working woman who chases her own passions and dreams and at the same time manages household too is considered empowered over a women who has chosen to sacrifice her part time paid career for a full time unpaid job of raising kids and building a house into home.
To me this concept of calling women with outdoor jobs that provide salary as “working women” is misnomerising and diminutive of the efforts of a women who “works” 24/7 at a workplace called home.
While I’m not saying that women shouldnt chase their personal passions, women are free to choose and do whatever they feel like ,but I do emphasize that God entrusted the most difficult and important job on earth to his best creation i.e women as mothers and so while a women can pursue her own dreams ,she has a calling upon earth from heaven to raise good human beings and instill values and culture in children who will be the face of future and she shouldn’t let anything interfere in this noble calling or make her neglect this divine responsibility.
And for me creating spreadsheets ,sending emails, treating patients ,building software comes no where close in comparison to the responsibility of raising children into good human beings.There is no job on earth greater than that.
And so mothers are special.
And if I have to describe Canan Kara in one word it would be MOTHER. Canan Kara before anything else is a mom. And this stays true in her own life too as it does in every mother’s life.
For a mother, all her titulations viz daughter sister aunt wife daughter-in-law etc stand secondary to the honour of being a mother. For her, motherhood comes first ,her children come first and so all her life decisions , actions , words and choices are governed by keeping her children and their wellbeing at the core of it all.
“Motherhood is not a hobby
It’s a calling
It’s not something to do if you can squeeze the time in
It’s what God gave you time for”
I always fall short of words and blank in thoughts when I try to write about a mother
What can I write for the person who wrote us ? But I’ll try my level best to do justice to this gem of a character Canan Kara in this article which I dedicate to her soul as my tribute.Wish me luck in this
endeavour and I hope there are people who would be interested in reading this amateur young girl’s thought on one of the best mothers and characters in diziland -Canan Kara…
Let’s begin this journey.

Society has since ancient times typecasted the domestic division of labour into gender specific roles.
For instance kitchen and laundry is feminine territory while electricity plumbing and fixing is male expertise
This prejudiced allocation of suitability to jobs in accordance with gender is wonderfully proven incorrect by the introductory scene to Kara family where Yagmur fixes the lamp in the foyer of their house .
A girl fixing the lights while the guy holds the stool shouldn’t be an uncommon sight
You can have just your mom by your side and she’ll make sure you don’t feel the absence of a friend , a brother ,a sister or even a father.
Yagmur – Her only wish as this 18 year old young ambitious girl takes a bold dive into the sea from that high cliff is
“Lütfen Annem artık mutlu olsun.”(Please let Mom be happy now)
Now I shall delve into what actually is “Happiness” for Canan Kara.
Her fears, the reason behind her decisions, her needs ,her benevolence as well as her potential ferocity…

🌸FEARS & STRENGTHS.

Canan Kara fell in love at a very young age, got married to Selim when 18 while she was still going to university and had baby Yagmur in her arms when she graduated.
With the expansion of Kara family from 2 to 4, one of them had to choose kids while the other chases their own dreams and chooses work.
And it was Canan who pulled the trigger on her dreams.
She left part time paid advocacy to become a full time unpaid mother and homemaker.
The reason Selim could afford concentrating solely on his work is because Canan took all the responsibilities at home.
And given the kind of profession and nature of duty of Selim Kara, she knew well before marriage what being wife to a public prosecutor would mean. She had agreed to all that came along with being married to Prosecutor Selim Kara.
She was ready to take care of the house all by herself, to not be able to spend time with her husband that often, not being able to have dinner together ,to wait till late into the night for him to come home ,hoping and praying all day that he would return home safe, to accept his physical absence and as she herself says,to even continue to live under his mere shadow.
“ Ben senin gölgene bile razıydım yani Sayın Savcım ama sen hep karanlıkta durduğunu için gölge bile düşmedi üzerimize”

But things changed after she became mother to two children.
“Being a mother is learning about the strengths you didn’t know you had and dealing with the fears you didn’t know existed.”
-Linda Wooten

A woman may be weak but a mother is always strong.
The strength of a mother is second to none.Even when she is in times of stress, when she is fighting her own demons, when she is beyond exhausted both physically and mentally,nothing will stop her from finding the strength she needs to do for her children what she needs to get done.

💙 STRENGTH TO ACT AS GLUE.
♣️The absence of a father can shake the entire equilibrium of a family and more so if he exists yet is physically non existent in their lives.
In such cases, children often drift away mentally from a father that already is physically afar.
Initially they miss him and so love him and his limited visits even more dearly. But as they age, they start questioning, rebelling,revolting against the order established since years and even start blaming.
Not only do they start bearing anger and resentment towards him but their love towards him also starts to taper with every passing day until it gets replaced with hatred one day.
The concept of being a family can thus be shattered to pieces.
But Canan Kara acted as the glue that held everyone together even when she herself was falling apart.
If Kara family members still feel a sense of togetherness, a sense of belonging, if the children still respect their father, if Altay still upholds a superhero image of his dad,if daddy is still Yagmur’s first love, if they still feel being part of a family ,it’s because Canan made it seem so. She is the reason these individual pieces stick and she makes them function and work like a unit.
Every parent plays a pivotal role in what their children think of the other parent.Children are like clay. Mould their thoughts and they bend that way. Unless their isn’t mutual respect , appreciation and admiration between husband and wife , children won’t look upto their parents as they should. This is something so beautiful ,praiseworthy and exemplary of this couple who teaches us how husband and wife should function in mutual sync with respect toward each other even when getting divorced so that their interpersonal issues don’t affect what ideas their children hold of them as parents.
And it’s not only Canan defending Selim to Yagmur but also Selim defending Canan to Altay.

Canan telling Yağmur to not influence what her brother thinks about their dad , Yağmur asking why are you always protecting dad in front of us and Canan’s reply -“because he loves you both.” Canan knows Selim doesn’t stay away from them because he doesn’t love them.Infact it’s the exact opposite. It’s because he loves them so much, because he cares about them and their safety ,that he chose to sacrifice and give up on the bliss of family to accept the perils of solitude so that they could stay safe, sound and protected.
And although in a fit of rage and determination to divorce, Canan denies all his sacrifices and says that “you sacrificed us.Im doing you a favor by getting of out the way between you and your very beloved work”, she inside her soul , recognises and is aware of this sacrifice that Selim makes and that the only reason he works so hard is for them. It’s not that he chose work OVER his family. He works FOR his family. But unfortunately the nature of his work and his ways of bringing it to fruition are such that demand their existence in separation.
And she knows it’s been difficult for him too.
Not being able to witness his children grow up ,not being able to become a child with them again watching the same cartoon they watch, not being able to attend their parent teacher meetings, not being audience to their stage performance or sports race in school, not knowing their changing likes and dislikes ,not knowing their achievements nor being able to support in their failures and having missed all their developmental milestones.
Despite loneliness , Selim didn’t crumble down and could stand steadfast just because he held onto the idea of having a family behind him and thats what gave him strength. His family ,his wife and his two beautiful children are the only lifelines he has for whom he works ,for whom he lives and for whom he would be ready to die too. The way Canan understands this about Selim ,knows him inside out and teaches this to Yagmur too. To understand his emotions ,his struggle and have all rights to be angry at him for not being with them but not for being the person he is.Thats why she is no longer angry at him. “Artık kızgın değilim. Senin normalin bu.Selim Kara yapıyorsun.”

Sometimes we try a lot to change others or expect a person to be or behave something he or she never can nor will be and this expectation leads to disappointment. Instead accept the person for who they are, discover their range of worst and best and help them go from one end of the spectrum to the other just like Canan did to Selim.

“Babamı hayatımdan çıkarıyorum ne kadar ağır bir cümle farkında mısın”
Explaining her daughter how harsh a statement this is and assuring that he will always remain a father to her.Nothing can ever change that.
“Seninde Altay gibi bir Kıyıda köşede kalmış bir acaba vardı bilmiyorum ama eğer ben bunu elinden aldıysam özür dilerim gerçekten”
A mother apologizing to her daughter if she is the one who took away her hopes with regard to her father is something so precious and worth learning from.
Parents too can make mistakes , parents too can apologize to kids- apology has nothing to do with seniority or age.
“ama konumuz bu değil
Konu sensin sen ve baba
Ya kapıyı tamamen kapatma en azından azıcık bir aralık bırak ya .. içeri girmek isterse eğer gerçekten isterse bir şansı olsun
Sen de bunu deneyebilirsin”
Canan knowing Yagmur is trying to change the topic ,making Yagmur realise that the topic is she and her dad and requesting her to leave the door for him ajar so that if he really wishes to enter there’s a chance and to try the same from her end.
It’s such a beuatiful dialogue and an even more beautiful gesture to make her daughter leave an opening in her heart for her father to enter.
A soon to be divorcee mother instead of closing all ties and bonds is working towards strengthening them. This itself requires strength.
️The conversation between Altay and Selim gives insight into the reasons behind the differences between Altay and Yagmur’s hopes about their father, Canan’s burnout, Selim vocalising Canan’s heroism and defending her with all his might.

Their dialogues not only reflect respect and love but also how well they understand and know each other. When mutual love, respect, and understanding run this deep, no tide can bring a storm in this sea of marriage.

💙STRENGTH to raise the children and manage everything single handedly-
School ,classes ,University, food ,clothing ,bills, grocery etc.

💙STRENGTH to continue to strive even when she feels lonely and helpless.

‘you are just a voice from the phone.’
Despite loneliness , Selim didn’t crumble down and could stand steadfast with the idea of having a family behind him
While Canan despite being surrounded by family ,felt lonely.
♣️

1) “One day while going through the closet I noticed there isnt even one shirt of yours in the house. I asked myself and wondered why isnt there even one shirt of this man in his own house. Whats in a shirt isnt it ? Its a normal piece of cloth after all.
I missed your scent Selim.
That day I realised you wont return to stay with us.”

“Smell is a potent wizard that transports you across thousands of miles and all the years you have lived.”
-Helen Keller
Even in this spacious large home surrounded by her children neighbouring her sister’s family, Canan felt lonely because what felt home was his scent that she missed.

2) “ben seni gölgene bile razıydım Selim yani..ama sen hep karanlıkta kaldın için gölge bile düşmedi üzerimize”
(I was even content with your shadow. But since you always stayed amidst darkness, the shadow too didn’t appear in my life.)

Although Canan handled home and kids and everything by herself and got herself used to living away from Selim ,there were times when she felt her bones crippling underneath the burden , when she needed his support the most , when she missed him ,his mere presence in her world even if that were to be in the form of a mere shadow cause she would feel warm and safe under its shade.

Note :- The reply Selim gives is so precious a request to make to your wife.
“Then help me get out of this darkness please”
He has always reiterated that Canan is his miracle. His life changed after Canan entered into it and had it not been for her he might have been living within the dark dirty gloomy caves of the underworld like his dad.

3)

4) “bir kadın olmak zor boşanmış bir kadın olmak başka bir zor”
-Serap

The moment Canan realised what it meant having Selim’s name present next to hers even though he was close to absent in her world.
This was a moment her feeling of loneliness was magnified manifold.
A woman is anyway subjected to varied glances from society and to top that a divorced woman is looked upon with different perspectives and looked at with different intent.
This conversation was so enlightening for women , and awakening towards the prejudices and malice prevalent in male dominant society.
I love that Son Yaz is a show that not only shows the stark reality of this (pseudo)feminist manifesto the world boasts about but also depicts where true feminism lies in.

Speaking of feminism , another scene I loved was when Naz teases Canan that she got all decked and dressed up for Selim Eniste ,Yagmur corrects her saying women dress up and doll up for themselves not to please or impress others.

💙 STRENGTH to hope against hope even when she felt Hopeless that things would change for better in future.
♣️

📎”Her çözüm için mutlaka bir problem var senin”

• Everytime just when Canan thinks matters have solved or will get better ,new problems arise. And this statement is testimony to how tired she is of all this.

📎”Abla I’m tired of his false promises”

Selim as a husband had promised her a lifetime of together and happiness when she married him..look at her now. How many times he must have assured her things will get better and they didn’t. How many times he must’ve promised her I’ll be there with you on this anniversary and he didn’t turn up as an urgent matter arose.
How many times he must’ve promised to take them for a vacation and didn’t or couldn’t.How many times he gave promises and couldnt keep them. There is only so much a person can take. Her fatigue is evident and she has lost all hopes that he would break his promise breaking trend in future.

💙 STRENGTH to bear the weight of feeling worthless.

To hear that she is jobless and why doesn’t she work if she is so qualified ,to feel it pinch her everyday of having lost herself yet remember the faces of her children and reassure that her decision was correct.
♣️

1) hiç mi saygın yok mu ?
Yok değil mi ? Yok .niye olsun ki ? Kimin ben ya ?

• She had fought against herself to come to this decision of divorce. She fought between her mind and heart.
  Just when she felt that she was finally able to bring this long lasting war to an end Selim made changes in the battlefield again. She wanted him to just respect her decision and let her be.
  Her mind knew he wasnt manipulating her to give up on her decision but her heart too knew he was trying to win her and that she wouldnt be able to not give in.
  But the words she says reflect that she always felt a sense of ‘nobody’. As if she questioned her worth in the house,
  “kimin ben ya ..who am I?”
  As if she felt her choices ,her opinions, her decisions weren’t given that much importance or notice or respect.

2) well good let her better be like her father than me.Look at me.

• She who managed graduation ,marriage, pregnancy ,children and household all alike at the same time is feeling a failure in life.
  Has she really failed in her personal life when she sought her family over career while Selim chose career for his family ?

3) “you don’t take me seriously as you always do ,don’t you ?”

A mother is always the one who puts herself on the back footing and pushes others forward. Her presence is taken for granted, her words are taken as mere decibels dumbed by our incessant chaos, her opinions unimportant before our very important orders and her predicaments as a joke midst our plethora of problems.

4) This is not the canan I know .I even forgot who she was.

• During childhood a girl lives for herself ,during courtship and marriage she lives for her lover , during motherhood and forever after she lives for her children and thats how a woman slowly and surely keeps erasing herself from the frame till she exists not for self but selflessly for all.
  This voluntary oblivion of self is a huge sacrifice every woman makes or is forced by the society to make as she transitions through the varied phases of life.
  This Canan who needs to think twice about others before taking a decision for herself , this lawyer canan kara who can’t fight the lawsuit between her heart and mind since years, this ambitious young girl Canan who felt the world was in her reach ,now feels her world crumbling within her hands out of her control.
  She has lost herself while making herself available to others.

5) “Atleast couldve got it drafted from a lawyer.” “So a lawyer prepared it !”

Not being able to practise advocacy and be a lawyer due to him didnt hurt that much.
What hurt the most was when he didn’t even remember I used to be one…

6) bravo .you have a very good image of ur mother..my decisions depend on no one.

• She felt put down by knowing what kind of image her children have drawn of their mother..as if she is selim’s puppet..as if she has no existence or worth of her own outside of Selim. And she so said my decisions depend on none when in fact she lied. Every mother lies.All their decisions are always centred around her children.

7) karşılıklılık konuşmak diye birşey yok . Konuşmayalım artık ya.
Seni gördüğümde yaşadım her şey hatırlıyorum.. bana yaptın herşey o yüzden kaçtı senden ….
tatil bir kere gittim
Orda iş için gitti bıraktı beni oraya
Zaten anniversary holiday bayram falan sanmıyorum.
———— Selim interrupts ——–
zor bir şey dimi dinlemek
Ben seni hep dinledi ..ömür boyu dinledim seni artık yeter.. (ep 2)

• Women are silent or rather forced to be so and silenced
  They keep listening even though their voice isn’t given a medium or opportunity of expression. When women are listened to, they feel worthy, they feel respected ,they feel loved . Not only women ,this applies to every human.

8) iş saklıyorsun gibi
Ima var falan
Dürüst de değilsin …(Ep 2 dinner scene)

• Every married woman doesn’t want much from her husband other than feeling included.
  Included in his life , in his choices, and in his decisions.
  Once this feeling of inclusiveness withdraws , the castle begins to crumble.
  Feeling involved ,consulted ,included in your partners life matters make you feel you are worthy and that you matter to him.
  Canan didnt mind selim working as a prosecutor as much as she minded him keeping his job top secret.
  Although the nature of his work demands so, Canan always felt this void and so she constantly kept asking him to share his work related problems with her with the hope of proving to be of some help to him. Which is why look at her childlike happiness when she helped him –
• 

Contd.👇

9) again that one time in life when she did help him in a case in ep8 – she indirectly became responsible and directly became witness to a man’s death and a family’s destruction. She couldn’t bear the burden of guilt. She felt as if she failed even that one time she tried to get involved in something. She felt worthless and more than that she felt guilty of murder.

10) Avukatlık

• She was so excited to be back in action. Çocuk gibi bir heyecanla, gözlerin pırıl pırıl cıvıl cıvıl dolu. Her smile couldn’t contain her overwhelming joy just as her shoe couldn’t contain her outgrown foot. That shoe symbolises her youthful dreams. Dreams ,of becoming a famous revered lawyer, striding about the corridors in those stilettos ,with grace and style in her large office. But just like her foot outgrew the shoe, she outgrew her dreams with all those added responsibilities she took upon herself these years that this middle aged mother of 2 no longer feels a ‘fit’ midst the clan of young talented promising judiciaries in practice.
  It’s difficult to rejoin practising your profession after so many years. We are poignantly introduced to all the ebbs and tides in her emotions, that come her way as she navigates through this sea.
  Her initial ecstacy, excitement, nervousness, hope , realisation that she is aging, becoming aware of the changed times and challenges that lie ahead, apprehensive, anticipatory, dejected, and feeling a failure once again.
• Her trying to get rid of those shoes as her feet hurt from standing in that long queue , her looking at the long waiting queue , and her hiding her tears from her daughter
• while Yagmur held her by the arm ,supported her and looked at her in awe and glee.
  She felt that she failed at restarting her dream. ‘That the shoe didn’t fit’. Those shoes reminded her of her unfulfilled dream and she displaced all her grief and resentment on them casting them angrily away in the trash just like she let go of her dreams.
• 
• But her rocket team of baba kiz reinstilled those dreams for her just like they bought her a new pair of those stilettos.

11)”You consider urself too important..Don’t be so coward. Be a bit strong.”

Motherhood is a choice you make to put someone else’s happiness and well being ahead of your own ,to teach the hard lesson ,to do the right thing even when you aren’t sure what the right thing is and to forgive yourself over and over again for everything wrong you did.
The person who erased her own existence while living constantly for others putting others happiness before her own is being said “you consider yourself too important ” It hurt.
The woman who displayed all the strengths I’ve mentioned is being called coward. It’s hurts and it hurts so bad.

12) Annelik

• all the above failures she could digest. Failure at profession, failure at being strong, failure at love , failure at life but there was only one thing she held her pride in and that’s motherhood. Thats the one thing she felt she successfully fulfilled and that’s what held her head high and now even her motherhood is being put to question. There couldnt be a blow greater than this when Selim told her that if she continues to raise her children as a friend than a mother then she can continue seeking her profession ,he would take Yagmur and leave.
  Thats when she broke.
  Her children were her lifeline
  Had it not been for them she would have given up on dear breath long ago. And now Selim hurting her by telling he would take her daughter away from her , that’s when she could take no more and that ring ,that precious ring which she held onto more than dear life , frantically trying to retrieve it from the sink , that dear ring was given up on by her in that moment.
• 

13) Yagmur

• Selim’s harsh words never hurt her as much as Yagmur’s did.
  For a woman who gave her entire youth and life to motherhood, the opinion her children bear about her become more important than the whole world. She atleast carried pride in her children acknowledging her worth and considering her their successful superhero woman.
  But when Yagmur in a fit of rage of course says things she herself didn’t mean , says words which felt like a spade hitting through her chest ripping her heart apart.

💙 Despite motherhood bringing all these strengths to her, there was still a soft spot of vulnerability and weakness.
There came a time when all her strengths fell short and she reached breakpoint.
It’s ironical that while it can be seen as her defences finally breaking down , it’s also the first time her offence game rose up. For the first time we witnessed this benevolent mama bear turn into a ferocious falcon.

Her main centre has always been her children.
She could stand it all but when she realised that staying close to Selim meant risking the safety of her children ,she chose to cut the last threads that tied and move afar.
She wasn’t as bothered by Selim Kara meaning nothing in their lives than she was by Selim Kara meaning threat to her children’s lives.

“Çocuklar” -in Ep 3 at the scene by the foyer and Ep 8 when they talk in the room upstairs and so many other scenes she always mentions ,it’s not about you and me – it’s about the children and doing what’s in their best interests.

“Akgün Gökalp Taşkın kim? – that scene outside Fatih’s office.. uff the wrath !

Akgün Gökalp Taşkın olman yeterli !”

“Akgün le bir daha görüşmeye çeksin arkadaşlık etmeyeceksin
Artık neyse aranızdaki o herne hadsa bitiriceksin onu ” (her distended veins and nerves as she screamed her lungs out at Yagmur. My heart skipped a few beats)

She wasn’t a bit wrong in how she reacted. She reacted as any mother would do to protect her children.
Neither was she unfair towards Akgun. Just imagine if Akgun hadn’t turned out to be the good hearted person he is. After all the son of a mafia leader, who knows what values he has inculcated or what ideals he possesses or whether his conscience has silenced or not. It’s their luck that akgun turned out to be an innocent person with a pure soul but it could’ve gone any way.who knows- He may have been on a mission to avenge his ancestors -dating back to a past feud between the Taşkın’s and Kara’s and the innocent guy behaviour was all a facade and part of his master plan.
Her decision to distance themselves from him based solely on his surname as much as prejudiced and unfair it may sound wasnt incorrect from a mother’s point of view.
And Funda’s acting was oh so on point . She outdone herself expressing how never to tease a mother on a mission to protect her children.
The anger ,the wrath, the pitch ,the decibels,the echo, the body movements and hand gestures , the fire in her eyes and sword in her tongue.
She was ready to burn the world down ! Annelik böyle birşey işte !

I would like to insert a wonderful blogpost by Yoga teacher Emma Newell which talks about how every woman is an amlagation of the 5 main Hindu goddesses in varied proportions and can let one form overweigh the other depending on the situations.

{Throughout the traditions and rituals of yoga, as well as Hinduism, Buddhism, Paganism, Greek and Aztec mythology, there are an abundance of divine female forms and hindu goddesses, all providing an insight into the very essence of femininity Shakti energy. From fierceness to benevolence, prosperity to transformation, and birth to death, there is a goddess for each aspect of womanhood. Each of these aspects is layered with deeper meaning, and even if they’re not always obvious or expressed, we all hold the qualities of each goddess within us.

The relationship each of us has with our mother is entirely unique. For some a mother can be a best friend, for others a stranger, and others still may have had to come to terms with a difficult relationship with their own mother. What we can learn from these different female relationships is that no woman has the same mind, body, emotional process or level of tolerance. Each woman’s way of acting in the world is an individual expression of the whole of femininity itself, and one part of the divine feminine or Shaktienergy that underlies all women everywhere.

These 5 hindu goddesses show us what we can and could be. To know our creative a destructive forces, our loving side and our terrifying depths, and our light and darkness. Diving in to the many forms of the mother goddess is like getting to know different parts of ourselves and our personalities, understanding that we’re capable of both giving and taking, creating and destroying, good and bad, and then consciously choosing how to act in the world. Each time you observe that your mood swings from sweet to sour in seconds, that your irritability and anger can often get the better of you, or that you really do have a profound and limitless ability to care for others, you’re observing yourself expressing the different aspects of the mother goddess. Read on to discover how we can tap into the qualities of each mother goddess, and who to turn to when we’re in need of guidance.

These 5 hindu goddesses

Durgha: Warrior Goddess

This powerful warrior mother goddess is concerned with combatting evil forces and demons, and anything that threatens peace, prosperity and the dharma (life purpose) of good people. Durgha– meaning ‘invincible’or  ‘impassable’is a fiercely protective mother, with her name originating from the root Dur (meaning ‘difficult’) and Gam (meaning  ‘ to pass’ or ‘go through’). Think of her as the mother who fights to protect her family, and doesn’t take no for an answer….

Kali: Goddess of Death, Time, and Doomsday

Kali means ‘time’, and she’s the goddess of the ticking clock of life and death. Seen as the most terrifying and fierce goddess, Kali wears a necklace of severed heads, and a skirt of severed arms. Her mouth is bright red with not lipstick but blood, and carries a sword and human head. Although she sounds like a nightmare, Kali is the one who can sever the head of the ego,or that which limits our potential. When we’re in need of a big life change, or the ability to destroy something old to make room for something new, she can help us through the difficult period. It may not be easy or pretty, but Kali can bestow a fierce and forceful nature that helps us overcome blocks on the path. In essence, she’s the mother that is sometimes cruel to be kind, and even though we may not like it at the time, her lessons help us become wiser, better people.

Lakshmi: Goddess of Prosperity and Abundance

Lakshmi is like the aunty who gives out sweets and pocket money for good behaviour. She’s the goddess of prosperity and abundance, and is often revered at the opening of new businesses in the hope that she’ll send blessings and good fortune. Not only is Lakshmi centred around good fortune and wealth in a material sense, she’s the one who bestows us with prosperous health and a fortunate life. Lakshmi sits on and holds a lotus flower, symbolising personal growth, spiritual liberation, fortune and self-knowledge.

Parvati: Goddess of Fertility

Goddess of fertility, love, beauty and marriage, Parvati is all about creative femininity. Along with Lakshmi and Saraswati, she forms the Tridevi, or trinity of Hindu goddesses.  Parvati is very much like an earth mother, gentle and nurturing, and images often show her hand in the Abhya or ‘fear not’ mudra. In times when we feel the need to be more nurturing and grounding, she’s the one whose qualities we can look to embody.

Saraswati: Goddess of Knowledge, Music, Art, Wisdom and Literature

Goddess of knowledge, music, art, wisdom and literature, we can look to Saraswati’s qualities when studying or getting creative. Saraswati is usually revered during Springtime, and on her day of celebration parents often help their children learn to write the alphabet. Her name combines to mean ‘she who possesses speech’ and also ‘possessor of knowledge’, although she’s also linked to the great river Saraswati in India. Because of this, her wisdom and creativity is thought to run through the waters of India, and ancient texts like the Rig Veda honoured her from the beginning of written history; “Best of mothers, best of rivers, best of goddesses, Sarasvatīī”.– Rig Veda 2.41.16}

Now I shall discuss the relationship Canan had with the 3 other characters and how her demise will affect their lives.

✨Akgün

-” Eğer konuşmak istiyorsan ben buralardayım yani..haberin olsun “
(If you wanna talk, I’m here. know this.)

Canan’s mere presence exudes and radiates so much warmth.
She is like a warm blanket for the ones shivering out in the dark cold. Her giving moral support to Akgun even when she didn’t even know him much is so overwhelming.

• masaya bir tabağı daha köy derken ciddiyidi ben biliyorum kocama
  Ben de o tabağı seve seve köyürum masaya
  Sen doydum demeden de ben kaldıramam o tabağı
  Sen bundan sonra bir aile sofranın olduğunu bil
  (He was serious when he said put one more plate on the table . I know my husband. I too happily place that plate on the table and Until you say you are full ,I won’t lift that plate.
  Just know that from now on you have a family table.

This whole conversation was so heart touching.
Canan is that ideal parent who is an all in one . An ideal parent should be able to act child with the children when having fun, their friend when listening to their problems, their guide while helping them stay on right track and their parent when needed to scold them for their wrongdoings. Canan is that ideal parent who understands even without asking , knows what her children are hiding from the glance of an eye ,and lets them have their ideas, follow their heart and yet be ready to have their backs if at all they are about to fall.
The way she knows Selim so well, the way she clarifies the meaning behind his comic conversation with akgun , the way she empathizes with Akgun , apologizes for treating him wrongly due to her prejudices and also raises an eyebrow and gives away a cute smirk when Akgun blurts out about his romantic farewell letter to yagmur- she is the cutest and warmest teddy bean button ever.

• “Sen hala ön alt yaşındaki o evinde anasız babasız tek başına yatan çocuksun
  Korkmuş sun ama içerde olmaktan değil yanlız olmaktan korkmuş sun
  Kimsesiz olmaktan
  O yüzden de ben de buradayım diye bağırıyorsun . sürekli risk alıyorsun. Çünkü şöyle yapmazsan sevilmeyeceğini düşünüyorsun
  Sanki sevgi hakketmek için hayatım boyunca böyle bir bedel ödemem gerektiğini düşünüyorsun
• E yok mu ama yani ?
  Biz seni sen olduğun için seviyoruz bütün yanlışlarından
  Kara ailesi sevdiklerine arkada bırakmaz.”
  (You are still the 16 yo child who sleeps alone without a mother and father in that house .You’re scared but you’re scared of being alone, not being inside from being lonely .That’s why you’re screaming that I’m here too. You are constantly taking risks. ‘Cause you think you won’t be loved if you don’t .It’s like you think I have to pay such a price in my life to deserve love
• Well, isn’t there?
  We love you for being you despite all your mistakes . Kara family does not leave their loved ones behind.)

She understood Akgun more than Akgun himself ,empathized with him and reassured him of being loved ,of being a part of a family and that was the best gift this little kinda orphan lonely boy could get.

✨Selim

Selim Kara is another novel to study in himself. So many layers ,so many variegated traits and so much to adore and imbibe from.
Selim Kara- the name too is so wisely chosen.
‘kara’ means black or dark in turkish
‘selim’ means impeccable, true, strong, safe and sincere.
His family roots extend down to dark pits- his father being a criminal himself.
But within that ‘karanlık’ ,within that empty dark vacuum, he grew to be a righteous man. Isn’t he like the lotus ?growing in dark mud and muck yet blooming as fragrant and colourful …And this is the message of life too .life isnt about renunciation of world and then saying im pure ..its about living in the dirt and yet managing to not let the dirt touch your soul Joss Whedon rightly said “the most difficult thing in this world is to live in it.”
“Your growth and progressive journey in life is not much dependant on the atmosphere that surrounds you than is dependent on the atmosphere you create within yourself.”
-Sadhguru.
He is like a coconut – tough from the outside ,soft on the inside.
He pretends to be all brave and strong and macho in front of and for his family but his family is itself his biggest weakness.
His family even though far from him is his support system. And behind this succesful man ,really is a wonderful woman called Canan Kara. And this is a man who knows her importance in his life , appreciates and acknowledges her , and expresses his gratitude thus making Canan know her worth both through words and actions.
Men are infamous to have ego. Oyle boyle ego degil, kocaman dev ,mountain tall ego. But contrary to the generic traits that apply to men ,Selim has such a refreshing and praiseworthy trait of not only harbouring gratitude but also expressing it and that too in the most subtle humble and magnificent ways possible.
He also isnt a man who shies away from saying sorry or from shedding a tear. He is a man very much like us , flawed ,grey -a mixture of black and white ,but someone who is constantly trying to be a better version of himself everyday and that’s something commendable.

1)
“eğer yapabiliyorsan affet beni.
o zaman beni şu karanlıktan çıkarmak için yardım et canan lütfen.”

(If you can ,forgive me and please help me come out of this darkness)
•Canan has been his North Star guiding him out of his dark world years ago and now when he realises Canan feels he is stuck in there again ,he humbly asks her for help. Isn’t this conversation between a husband and his wife so precious. Also he doesn’t order or beg her to forgive him ,he asks her to do so if she can.
This is so considerate and understanding given that some men don’t even find the guts to say those 5 letters ‘sorry’.

2) “Ben sana ömür boyu borçluyum.Bak bana rağmen biz hâlâ bir ailesek senin vazgeçtiklerini sayesinde.”
-“why are you always looking for another meaning in my actions ? I want to make the mother of my children happy. Can I not do that ? Why do you blame yourself all these years for not able to work in your profession ? You’ve successfully done so much more and bigger things than that Canan ,that too all by yourself. You raised 2 children all by yourself Canan. Despite me, if we are still a family ,it’s because of what you gave up.
Can someone repay the incredible efforts you have made for the past 18 years ?
I owe you a debt.Truly, I’m indebted to you. And this debt is not such that can be paid and closed so quickly.Im talking about a lifelong debt.
A debt that will remain even after parting.So please let me thank you in my own way.Please let me thank you.”

• I don’t think any words would suffice to praise and express how beautiful these dialogues were and how this is an example of script writing at its best and how my respect for Selim Kara knows no bounds.
  This is what I love about this dizi -there is ‘ conversation ‘
  Not few words or sentences that seem incomplete or insufficient to bear the emotional heft of the scene, vanishing into thin air as there is a jagged transition to another scene.
  Every character talks and talks at length. Talks about their feelings , their ideas , their thoughts ,their emotions and more importantly the other person listens and listens at length.Even without speaking ,they speak and understand much more.
  These aren’t huge words or heavy vocabulary being thrown in. These are normal conversations every household bears witness to and simple sentences but with huge emotional impact.

3)Tamam karşılık konuşma yok. Sen konuş .ben dinlerim
Bugüne kadar söylemedin ne varsa herşey anlat. içindeki bütün öfkeleri kurs bana
Küfür mi etmek istiyorsun et
Bağırmak mi istiyorsun bağır
Gitmek mi istiyorsun kalk git ama surda oturalım ne olur ya
En kötü metinin yemekleri yeriz gideriz burdan ne olur ya
Kocamın ben seni ya !

• ok .No mutual talk.You talk.I’ll listen.Whatever you haven’t been able to tell till date, tell me. Throw all the anger inside you at me. You want to swear ,swear. You want to scream , scream. You want to leave, get up and go but please first let us sit down. Worst case we’ll eat Metin’s wonderful meal and leave but please. I’m your husband after all.

The most difficult thing is to b able to listen and even more difficult than that is to listen to undestand someone rather than listening to reply someone. In a mutual talk, one often listens to reply but here selim asks her to talk ,willing to listen to understand her.
Him giving her the opportunity to speak all she has suppressed within herself for years, him willing to be at the receiving end of her wrath, him being desperate to have one chance to just have her sit by his side for a while , him saying with teary eyes and that crack in his voice ‘kocamin ben seni ya’ – my heart is both overwhelmed and broken but broken in a beautiful way.

4) ben sana ne yaptın canan ya
Bana bunu yapma

-That divorce notice in his hand felt like a ticking time bomb. As if all his world was collapsing in front of his eyes and he sat there helpless ,even clueless for the answer to the question that what was his ‘unforgivable offence’ for which he was being served this death sentence.
His helpless , desperate measures to fix things ,to find an answer as he breaks down into tears and sobs in front of her . Canan’s internal struggle as she tries to not fall for his tears and maintain her stand ,her fearing that his presence one second longer in that room meant her defences breaking and so her picking him by the collar and shoving him out of the door while both collapse leaning on either sides of the door , wounded band aided hands covering selim’s sobbing face
tears in their eyes, wounds on their hearts and scars on their souls – rip my heart out of my chest that would hurt less.

5) “Senden ayrılma fikri bana çok ağır geldi Canan. Bütün refleksleri kaybettim. Hiç bir şey yapamıyorum.”
-The idea of parting with you ruined me Canan. I’ve lost all my reflexes. I am able to do anything.

• just the idea of Canan divorcing him ruined him. He lost his reflexes. He lost himself. Imagine if this is his state when she left his life , what would be of this man when she leaves this world.

6) Benim mucize Canan

7) Ring – yüzük

“It’s like life has lost all its meaning. Like I’ve lost my miracle.” And he did lose his miracle, his Canan, Canan Kara. 💔

✨ We all or atleast I would have loved to see Selim now take up the role of Canan and be the pillar of support for his kids now that Canan’s no more
But that would be
unrealistically expediting his growth arc. The above anecdotes and scenes I chose from Season 1 itself are testimony to how this man would inevitably crumble once Canan is gone. He will lose himself. As we can see from the teaser for S2 – ‘ savcı değilim ‘. He will enter the darkness again.
What shall be interesting is to see how he comes out of it ?
Will he wait for a miracle or will he be his own miracle ?
This warrior has fallen. He will make attempts to rise. He will fall again. He will make mistakes again. But he will eventually learn to stand up and stand firm. He will do it for his family. For his kids. He will grow. And this journey of growth will have ups and downs and I’m here for all of it as I know it’ll be beautiful.

✨Yagmur

Every parent couple has had this debate as to whom does the child resemble more – mom or dad ?

Well actually as much as children are actually combinations of parts of both whom they shall resemble more is also much defined by their own life experiences and choices.
We see many scenes where Canan comments as to whom does Yagmur resemble more
-is she more of daddy’s daughter or mumma’s girl ?

“She is a crazy maniac. A copy of her father. Decisive. Purposeful . Well good. Atleast better than being like me. Look at me.
Emel- “Girl while I couldn’t choose what lipstick colour to wear you stood determined saying I’ll become a lawyer. When dad didn’t allow you took everything and moved to Istanbul to study there.You didn’t take any money with you.Started to work hard. Without even completing her studies got married. With Yagmur in your arms you graduated university with honors. Kuzum Yagmur is not like her father but like her mother when 18 years old- 18 year old Canan Kara.”

• This scene again is an example of how Canan feels worthless and a complete failure at life and so says its better that Yagmur resembles Selim. But Emel corrects her saying that Canan at the tender age of 18 accomplished so much and was exactly the 2 words she just used to describe Yagmur – decisive and purposeful but she lost herself along as she stayed in the shadows of the man named Selim Kara.

Even when Yagmur got admission to law university and they were advising her for future career choices – While Selim was insistent on Yagmur taking up the prosecutor job as she has all those required qualities ,Canan knowing how dangerous that job is wanted her to stay a lawyer like her.
I feel avukat Yağmur Kara loading soon …ama bakalım ne olucak çünkü bu dizi her gun şaşırtıyor beni..

Understands and knows yagmur so well

She shares this equation with Yagmur where she is also her best friend who can understand her even without words, recognise her true feelings behind the mask she wears, with whom Yagmur feels free to share everything, with whom she can be herself and with whom she grew up.

• You and your mom have this incredible language that I don’t understand either.
• Yagmur has spent all her childhood with her mom
  She has seen her breakdown as well as rebuild. She has seen her mother at her best and worst .By the blink of an eye ,she can tell if something’s wrong with her.
  I know this because I too share this bond ,this wierd telepathy with my mom where we both understand eo even without words.
  When I was small maybe 6 yrs old ,mom used to manage household ,tuitions, school , me everything all by herself cause dad had to stay jobless a few years due to his illness.
  And no one except dad appreciated her efforts instead put her down at every opportunity. We were a joint family and she not only managed the entire extended family but also silently kept suffering for my sake. While she bore all the brunt alone , she kept me safe and protected. Yet when she would sometimes turn her face away to hide a tear, I could feel it in my heart. And I used to go ask her if she is fine. Even now when I’m leaving from work and I call her saying I’m coming home , no matter how well she hides , by her voice I can make out if she had been upset today. And same goes vice versa.
  A different kind of soulmatism exists between such mothers and daughters.

When Selim & Yagmur gift her the new shoes in ep 4, Yagmur says ‘ben seçtim’ but looks at selim while saying this and Canan picks up the hint which is why she thanks Selim and not Yagmur.
Such is the deep language of conversation between Anne kiz.

İn Ep 18, Canan describes Yağmur so aptly to Akgun enlisting traits that resemble Selim and those that resemble her and her description shows how well she knows her head to toe.

The fact that she used to pick up what’s going on between her and akgun even before Yagmur could comprehend herself itself speaks for this

Yağmur is the elder child and she is a girl far mature beyond her age because she, at a very young age, took up responsibilities and duties of their father that Canan was trying to fulfill single handedly

Though young she acted wiser than her years and helped Canan fill that fatherly void in their family frame.
While watching the show, it was as if I was watching myself and my family.
Yağmur is me. Her essence deep-rooted in my soul.
The stark uncanny similarities between me and Yagmur , mom and Canan ,dad and Selim made it so very special and personal an experience for me.
Since I feel as if I live within Yağmur, I’ll be describing Canan more through Yağmur’s eyes.
Yağmur is a girl who over the years was deprived of the comfort of walking in the shades of the shadow of her father.
Yağmur is a girl who has only been a close witness to one side of the story -her mother’s side.

D.H.Lawrence quoted
“What the eye doesn’t see and mind doesn’t know, doesn’t exist.”

Anonymous-
“The eyes can’t see what the mind doesn’t know.”

All these years Yagmur has seen her mother struggle , she has seen her raise them both single-handedly,run errands at home,spend sleepless nights in solitude, cry in lonely corners, wipe her tears without making it obvious to anyone, hide her sobs with a smile and lie everytime someone asks how are you by replying “I’m fine”.
That one scene in episode 6 about Yagmur’s childhood where she overhears her mother and aunt talk is so heart wrenching and the child actor who enacted it has performed brilliantly.
Notice the little quiver in her lips and chin before tears fill her eyes as she tried to mute her crying. And her spinal shock as she hears her mom regrets everything.
She has seen her mother give up on her dreams, sacrifice for their sake,die within everyday only to continue to live for them and them only.
While on the other hand , she hasn’t even seen a glimpse of her dad in their lives and as quoted earlier what the eyes can’t see and mind doesn’t know doesn’t exist. Her dad’s non existence in their lives is as much of a lie as the truth it is and I’ll discuss why in a while.
For her , Selim Kara is just a name now or atleast she is trying to make herself believe so.
Yağmur is trying to act wise and mature and accept the reality that her dad never was, nor is and never will be able to be existent in their lives and so protect her own peace, she has slowly tried to erase any hopes or expectations she had just like his memories too are slowly being erased into oblivion.
For Yagmur, Canan is her Superhero.
She admires her, looks upto heras her idol and wants to be like her, wants to make her mother proud but mostly she wants to see her mom “happy”. Her only wish as this 18 year old young ambitious girl takes a bold dive into the sea from that high cliff is
“Lütfen Annem artık mutlu olsun.”(Please let Mom be happy now)
I will delve into Selim -Yagmur dynamics and relationship maybe in later articles

Ilk defa hayatını ilgili bir şey soruyorsun.”
All she needed was him to show that he still loves and that he still cares. When he asked “kalbin mi kırdığın ?”
She felt his love through his worry and concern. She felt the first love of her life wanting to keep her heart safe unbroken and ready to smash anyone who dare hurt his little princess.

Now another detail I could grasp and understand because I relate to it on a personal level is what Yagmur feels about this whole mom vs dad resemblance debate cause I too feel the same abt me, my mom and my dad

Yağmur actually resembles her dad a lot and she knows it but refuses to accept it. But in her heart she wants herself to resemble her mom ,to follow her mother’s footsteps as she looks upto her as her idol amd hero and she loves being called mumma’s girl. It’s like a badge of pride for her. Which is why when Canan in ep6 start gets mad at her for hiding the truth abt Akgun Gökalp Taşkin accomplice with her dad Canan knowingly hurts her at the point she knows Yagmur is vulnerable at. – ” Sen böyle annemin kızım annemin kızım diye dolaşıyorsun ya etrafında
Sen babanın kızınsin Yağmur sen babanın kızınsin .”
Notice how Yagmur’s face goes pale and tears well up in her eyes at that statement
As if someone snatched away her bagde of honour.

CANAN KARA İS THE BEST PARENT EVER AND THATS ON RECORD. PERİOD.

The advice and pearls of wisdom this wonderful mother gave themselves collectively form an entire parenting guide book for the world.

And now the scene that had me sobbing for hours-

“Büyüdün…
-Annemle birlikte büyüdüm ben.
Öyle oldu değil mi
Ben elimden geleni yaptım
Duşa Kalkan
Bilerek Yanlışlıkla
Çok da hata yaptım
Sen yaşından çok önce çok büyük sorumluluklar aldın
Çocukluğunu yaşayamadın belki
Erken büyümenin sebeplerinden biri de benim büyümeyi reddetmiş olmam
Ama sen hep çok güçlüdür çok
O kadar çok şey öğrendim ki senden
Teşekkür ederim
Ben sana sevginin ötesinde minette de duyuyorum
Bunu Hiç unutma hiç .”

(You grew up…
I grew up together with my mother.
I did everything I could
Falling, Rising
On purpose ,accidentally
I made too many mistakes You took so many responsibilities long before your age
Maybe you didn’t have a childhood
One of the reasons for growing up early is that I refused to grow up.
But you were always so strong I learned so much from you Thank you
I am grateful to you beyond love.
Never forget that.)

I have heard a mothers love,
Ive heard her care
Ive heard her scolds,
Ive heard her praise.
Ive heard her pride
Ive heard her regrets
Ive heard her sorrows
Ive heard her joy
Ive heard her say all things salty and sweet
But for the first time I heard a mom treat
Her child as her SuperHero
She recognises Yagmur’s maturity ,accepts her faults , admires her daughter’s strength, and expresses gratitude.
Mother- who is every child’s first and best teacher for life saying she learnt a lot from her daughter and whom we children can’t thank enough ,that woman thanking her child is beyond any success a child can aspire to achieve in life.
Many parents do feel proud of their children but to place them on a pedestal higher than you and admire them as a fan admires a hero- very few parents are lucky enough to have such children and even fewer have the modesty and humility to say this to them in such a beautiful manner.
(This scene reminds me of a similar conversation between me and my mom 4 years ago and I can’t hold my tears back every time I watch this)

‘Her’ by Anne Marie – fits Canan Yagmur so well

When I think of my mother
No one compares to her
A love like no other
She puts everyone else first
And when I was younger
I treated her the worst
Never known someone stronger
‘Cause damn it must’ve hurt

I don’t see you as much as I used to
But if I did, I know what I would do

I’d tell you I love you a million times
Say that I’m sorry if I made you cry
Could never be half the woman even if I tried
But I’ll try, I swear I’ll try
If someone puts me down, yeah, I know my worth
All thanks to you, the lessons that I’ve learnt
If I had to put it into words
I think of an angel and all I see is her
Hmm ooh
All I see is her

Uh uh hmm

Your voice in my head and
It tells me I’m beautiful
And when I have children
I’ll pass on the things I was told

I don’t see you as much as I used to
But if I did, I know what I would do

I’d tell you I love you a million times
Say that I’m sorry if I made you cry
Could never be half the woman even if I tried
But I’ll try, I swear I’ll try
If someone puts me down, yeah, I know my worth
It’s all thanks to you, the lessons that I’ve learnt
If I had to put it into words
I think of an angel and all I see is her
Hmm ooh
All I see is her
Uh uh hmm
All I see is her

Edit based on same song- do watch
https://youtu.be/IISvAcuwU0M

At the end, listening to this song while thinking of Canan Kara 😭💔

(İçimde bir şey kanıyor
Keskin bir vedanın yarası sızlıyor
Yüzümde bir şey soluyor
Aynı değil, umudun rengi kayboluyor

Kalbimde bir yerde bir orman yanıyor
Bıraktığın şarkılar sahipsiz susuyor
Şiirler hep dargın, dualar şifasız
Ömrüme mıhlanmış bir cümle

Kül olur kalbindeki zamanla
Yana yana, yana yana
Yana yana, yana yana )

She was is and will always be the heart and soul of Kara family.
She was a true homemaker who converted that building of concrete and cement into a home.
Her last words as she is on her death pyre gasping her last breaths –
” Anahtar Saksının Altında “
Many would wonder the significance of this statement or that of having this as the title of the last episode.

• My interpretation is dual.
  Firstly it shows that the only thing on her head even as she feels her last heartbeats is home. A mother builds a home and gives her whole life thinking about her home ,her family and never herself.
  A business woman would have worried about the clients and work she is leaving behind but a homemaker worries about the flowers she tended to, the corners she kept clean, the keys which opened the doors to her castle.
  For a mother, home is the palace where she feels like a queen. That’s her abode. That’s the symbol of her soul.
  And she says that the keys are under the pot.
  Canan was everyone’s home.
  After her death everyone will retreat to a forlorn lifeless state just like a lifeless pot.
  The keys to their house -to finding their Canan for themselves are right under the pot. Right beneath them. They just need to give themselves a bit of a push , a little lift and the key to home is right there.
  They will have to find their Canan within themselves ,around themselves. She will be there through her memories , her words echoing in their ears ,her scent in their memories ,and her blessings in their heart.
  She was is and will hands down stay the best mother and parent in diziland or throughout international fiction and she will always stay alive in our hearts and souls.
  I hope I could do some justice to this wonderful mother who made me laugh ,cry ,smile, and more importantly taught so many things. I will forever stay grateful and indebted to her.
  I love you, Canan Kara and Thank you
  Thank you
  Thank you.
  You have been an inspiration.

I’m very excited for Season 2
The trailers look so promising and awesome.
See you all on 18 sept and hope many more people join this wonderful journey called SonYaz. It’s a supreme dizi cause when you watch every episode without a single fast forward , where you watch every side character scene too with intrigue and concentration, where every character feels so real, where you feel every emotion right with them, you cry and sob but never can hate on any character even when mistaken, cause they all have their reasons and they also have their arc of redemption and more importantly where there is conversation and conversation at length and where characters are all so good you can’t pick a single favorite !
Editing ,music , execution , cinematography,casting and acting too are top notch.
Do join S2 of this efsane dizi

Do let me know if you would like to hear more from me in S2. If yes, I won’t guarantee but shall try depending on the compactness of my work schedule !

See you on 18 September
Take care,
Love❤️,
Nano.