Greetings Good People of Tumblr! It is I, Andy Wheyface, logging in to give you my insights into the most spectacular television program - a little show called DUCKTALES, starring my fellow billionaire, Scrooge McDuck! (And his nephews, who I presume are locked in perpetual battle with each other to secure his affections and inherit his vast riches!)

To celebrate Arden’s Indiegogo campaign for our third season hitting another big milestone, I’ve just watched the DuckTales theme song sequence. And I must say, my mind is positively RACING from these intriguing (and highly realistic) sights and sounds.

For starters, look at this! A WAVE of MONEY? Genius! Naturally I also have an unimaginable quantity of golden coins in a big vault such as this one (more on that later) - but I never considered installing a wave machine capable of creating a monstrous, crashing tsunami of gold that will rain down upon my body and sweep me up in its unstoppable path… until NOW!

Next, consider this helicopter. I know what you’re thinking - “Andy, you’re an eccentric billionaire! Surely you’re not impressed by a helicopter, of which you must own several!” How well you know me!

But what I don’t own… is a helicopter piloted BY a DUCK! But of course, it makes perfect sense - ducks are masters of the skies already, flying as they do upon their majestic wings. So naturally they’d make excellent pilots.

And now, I can hear you saying, “Andy, if you’re building a powerful duck army in New York City, a legion of ducks stronger than anything this world has ever seen before, perhaps you should provide them with helicopters,” and let me assure you: plans ARE already in motion. But I thank you for the suggestion just the same!

Now what exactly is happening here? It’s unclear, but if I had to venture a guess, I’d say that Scrooge McDuck is walking through some sort of rejuvenating energy field that will make him feel younger in mind, body, and spirit. Based on this image alone, I can promise you that my duck army WILL be equipped with state-of-the-art rejuvenating energy fields, as I’ve gathered that they must be extremely important to ducks of some prominence!

Ahh, now this view will look familiar to all of you - we all have a spiral staircase leading down to our money vaults, do we not? I certainly do!

And THIS view will look familiar to those of you who have been hospitalized for trying to dive into an enormous custom-built vault full to the brim with golden coins, as inspired by Scrooge McDuck himself!

I am, OF COURSE, talking about ME, Andy Wheyface! As it turns out, slamming into a mound of solid gold at a high velocity is not nearly as comfortable as you’d think!

The pain was agonizing!

Good People, this particular screencap sent a chill down my spine, so much did it remind me of when another type of vicious underwater beast (sea lions) attacked my underwater casino - an event that is still having unexpected consequences upon the duck community to this day!

And such occurrences remind us of the fragility of life, of the constant danger lurking around every corner, of the need to ARM ducks against threats of all kinds. Which is why I’ve already commissioned robot duck suits just like this one, so MY ducks will not have to live in fear! I told you this title sequences was full up to the brim with inspiration! I have no idea what’s happening here, but I DO know with every fiber of my being that it’s a SPECTACULAR idea!

Now, this moment made me pause, so deep in contemplation as I was. When they soar above the clouds, flapping their wings mightily as the wind carries them across the heavens like a starlit highway… do ducks dream of going to space? Do they have ambitions of seeing the Earth from above?

Would that we could ask them such lofty queries….

Anyway, I’ve now commissioned a tiny rocket to carry ducks to space, so I suppose we’ll find out soon enough!

Another interesting thought here - ducks accessing GENIE technology! What would a duck wish for, had it access to all the powers and mysteries of the universe? Wealth? Power? An unlimited supply of pretzels? ALL OF THE ABOVE?

YES!!!

And if someone - say, an eccentric billionaire and owner of Wheyface Industries - provide the ducks with such things… would they view ME as a genie? Or even as a GOD?!

And that, good people, has been my commentary on DuckTales, a vivid documentarian glimpse into the upper crust of duck society!

And if you have been inspired by this magnificent program, let me offer you this advice:

Put on some body padding before diving into your coin vault. Your bones will thank you!

If you’d like to earn more rewards like my DuckTales commentary, donate to Arden’s season three campaign on Indiegogo and help us reach more milestones!